WakeUpdate

Hello 2012, hello blog readers

2012-01-10T15:09:00.000-06:00

Sorry mom, I haven't written in a few months. Candace has been rolling on her blog with regular posts about our family life.
Soon I'll start logging about some of the books that I have read this past year.
First, a quick update:

In November our friends Kate and Joseph got married the Saturday after Thanksgiving, so we did not travel like we have in all the years before. In fact, I cooked a turkey for the first time in my life. We had friends from the community with us, and it was a nice meal at home. As I think of it, we didn't have the usual Thanksgiving, where people come into town for a few days and then spend several days together, and then leave. It was as brief as a couple hours with people.
During the meal one of the guests (a counselor and medical doctor, who does research on the brain) suggested we all share happy memories from times with our families when we were growing up. He said that there is plenty of research to guarantee that if we spend our time that way, we'll all feel really good at the end of the night. So we did, and we did.
In December a friend came into town - Mike, from back in Clovis, NM. Mike's working in Hooper Bay Alaska these days, as a school administrator. The town and the school are very stressful and sad situations, so it was nice to have him with us on his break.

St. Louis Arch as seen from the observation car on our train

We took a train trip to Arkansas for Christmas with Candace's family. That was great too. Savanah and Scott Landerholm were with us before they got back on a plane to their second mission experience for this year, in Galway Ireland.
And in a week, Candace and I will travel without the kids (thanks to you, Mom and Da) to New Mexico for a conference on Nature and the Human Soul. We are excited for the opportunity on several levels. Good teaching (probably), Mexican food, seeing friends, dreaming about a new community, meeting with Mennonites and Methodists, being out in the wilderness a bit... and being without children for the first time ever, since having kids started for us!

Soon, another book review...

Poverty, wealth in the Kingdom - look out!

2011-10-17T13:19:00.000-05:00

This is a friend, Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove talking.

Goodbye Reba Jeanne

2011-09-08T16:59:00.000-05:00

Hi Friends,
This has been another week of highs and lows. Jedidiah has been five for about a month. We finally had the time to hold a small birthday party for him at the park. Not all of his friends were able to make it, but several did, and it was good.
My beloved grandmother passed away at the age of 87 after a five year battle with Alzheimer's disease. She remained kind, gentile, loving and relational though her memories were inaccessible. My parents cared for her with the help of Da's sister, and assistance providers. She died on Labor Day - I'm told there are a hundred pairs of white shoes in her closet. Fitting, indeed.

A last note: as we approach the September 11th anniversary, I think the nation is becoming increasingly suspicious of war and retaliation because it costs us a lot of money, young men and women, political energy, national status and reputation... I take non-violence as a serious mark of faith. I found this article to be really insightful. Please read the link!
Peace.

What is a blessed family?

2011-09-02T16:53:00.000-05:00

We have had an eventful summer. You can read about the specifics here.
My parents are working with their parents and couldn't make it to us for a family reunion. We did, however, see Candace's whole family at Savanah's wedding.

One thought to share: Our community is a part of a magazine/ devotional for New Monastics called Conspire.

In the most recent mag, there is a beautiful and challenging examination of parenting. The following quote really struck me:

"What we feel life is about is determined by how we answer this question (...): 'What do you want for your kids?' 'To be happy' is a common response, or 'to be successful at what they want.' But increasingly, my answer to that question is: to be blessed. Jesus gave a definition of blessed that makes me utterly reconsider my priorities, re-framed in the beatitudes as poor, hungry for justice, proficient in mercy, adept at reconciliation, well-formed on the inside, and willing to stick out for what's right. Is that what I want for my kids?"

We have weather

2011-08-01T15:06:00.001-05:00

This past July a city dear to us, Lubbock Texas has set some records for how hot it's been. Over 100 degrees for several weeks.
Here in Chicago we have had rain and heat and then rain and then heat. (Mind you we're talking about 95 degrees, with a heat index just over 100 - nothing for a texan to talk about.) We do not have an A/C unit, though most of our neighbors are using something in the window.
Along with the wind has come stormw - big, fast, loud, and electrical storms.
Here are a few of a house three blocks to the south of us:

We hear that the owner was an old lady who passed away a few months ago. Now her family has to deal with this... but no one was hurt.

Sentiments about the Rapture

2011-07-21T11:15:00.000-05:00

When we lived in the south, there was a lot of talk about the end times, thanks to the left-behind series. I read up on Daniel and Revelation and some parts of the Thessalonians letters. Later I learned some things about the creation and the Kingdom and God's concern for all the earth. Now I don't have too many people talking about how God's going to burn the world up and we're going to "fly away" to some other reality.
Please watch this little video for a chuckle.

A rambling

2011-06-21T14:38:00.002-05:00

Regrettably, I have not subjected the internet crawlers to my barely-formed-thoughts in months.
Here's one:
Around here there are folks who like to talk about "primitivism" - it's sort of like an anarchy system... well actually, that's the anarcho-primitivists who predict a collapse of society as we know it. They're planning, or at least thinking about what the future will look like when we no longer have sufficient oil, or maybe even electricity. When our trucks of food stop hauling from California, and our military/ government/ corporations suffer an uprising of some kind. When that "collapse" happens, people will have to figure out some other way of living. Frankly I have not given this much meditation. But the critique of an unsustainable westernized method of society destroying itself does sort of ring true. (Right?)
The primitivist part is pretty interesting, though. This has to do with hunter-gatherer societies. You know, pre-contact indigenous groups from six continents have managed to live for thousands of years prior to the introduction of farming, steel, guns, slavery, banks, credit, satellites, wide-screened TV's and democracy.
(That's my introduction...)

I read a book called Ishmael some time ago (you can find it at the library) and there are some good bits in this little novel about takers and leavers. Takers hoard and store up more than they need. They have power, because they have big piles of stuff. They take from the earth, and they take from other groups when they want to. Leavers are people who gather what they need and no more. Leavers try not to impose on other groups, and they trust that tomorrow there will be enough. Hunter-gatherers are leavers, while the agrarian and the banker are takers.
Western people like you and me - modern and post-modern thinkers like you and me, we have walls that quickly go up around this issue. "Those savages all died off of curable diseases. What do I stand to learn from them?" "Thank God for progress." These arguments come from my head too. But if you just take a second to think about our Judeao-Christian creation story; our stories of origin might be a little more heavy on the leaver life values than those of the taker. Why was Abel's sacrifice accepted and Cain's not? What was the Garden like? How did the Israelites eat in the wilderness? What happened when they gathered too much? What did God want them to know about Himself in that?
Lately I have been hearing how, in the sermon on the Mount, Jesus was reminding his audience that God wants them to live like their ancestors did in the wilderness. When Jesus says not to store up treasures on earth, that isn't a new teaching - it was a reminder. The fool is he who builds more barns to store up his excess. Blessed are the ones who live hand-to-mouth.

Did anyone read all this? Leave me a comment! Thanks... oh, and there is always more. Read this from my friend Ric...

Designer I like

2011-06-04T17:12:00.000-05:00

I ran across this guy's work, Jeseok Yi from Korea. I'm not really interested in graphic design, but he's making good stuff!

This poster says, "What goes around comes around" at the seam

disposable tray paper liner

I hope you like it!
JWM

Our active week

2011-06-01T12:50:00.000-05:00

Candace Posted these pictures to her blog already, but I was planning to make a few notes about our fun filled week.

Lilia crawling toward the Gorilla glass

We went to the Lincoln Park zoo (free) last Monday because I had the day off after our RPF retreat. It was a Great day - weather was super. We even managed free parking! So the whole thing cost us nothing but petrol.

Jedidiah admiring a silver-back

We have this friend who worked for the Chicago Aquarium who got us into the Field Museum for free this past Sunday. We were with Sue, the largest T-rex ever discovered. Jedidiah was in his element.

Candace and kids at lower left

This display was all about the evolution of species. It was a nice picture, I thought.

New gadget

2011-05-16T22:28:00.000-05:00

I've been interested in photography, photoshop and the like for a few months now. I recently bought a used digital SLR camera to take interior photographs for work (furniture we've delivered to nice looking homes). Here are a couple shots from the Bahai Temple up the road from our house.

It's pretty incredible, no?

Things happening this Summer

2011-05-16T22:10:00.000-05:00

If you wanted to know:
There are a bunch of interesting things happening this summer. If there were more of me, I would go to all of these events.

The Reba retreat - Candace is the main planner of this retreat for spiritual vitality and renewal. This year we're going to utilize the schedule outline of the Christian Ashram (props to E. Stanley Jones!) Happening this coming weekend.

Papa Fest near Pittsburgh PA. (Christian hippies camping and sharing and learning) - I can't make this one, but some friends will be there.

The Shalom Mission Communities Camp Meeting at Plow Creek fellowship in western Illinois. This is a small network of about five diverse Christian communities that meet for love and support. The camp meeting happens every other year, but our family hasn't made it before now. I look forward to seeing a lot of familiar faces, including good friends Billy and Kelly Lawson!

Wild Goose Fest near Durham NC. (Social Justice type Christians - larger thing than the Papa fest) - I was invited to go as a rep for Reba, but instead...

Asbury College class of 2001 reunion - Candace's friends will gather and we'll bring the kids to Wilmore KY. Most of our friends have moved from that little town, but there are still a few left.

Candace's sister Savanah's wedding - also happening near Wilmore KY, she will marry Scott from Ohio.

I hope some friends can come and see us here in the Chicago area in between our travels.
Maybe we'll be seeing you?

We joined!

2011-04-13T11:17:00.001-05:00

Last night we had a covenant service with the Fellowship. It's been a long time coming, but it's official now.
We heard a little teaching about the process of making a covenant. The Bible has a few examples. There is a bit of a story told about what has been done to get people to the place of making a covenant, then vows and then a prayer.
Our story: After a time in NM, we felt called to life in intentional community. Once we sensed the release from our work there in Clovis, we also heard a confirmation that Reba was our destination. We packed up everything and came here.
The process of merging with the community has taken longer than we'd thought - due in no small part to our adding Lilia to the family.
It was mid-April 2008 that we first visited this place.

The vows of our covenant are to keep daily worship, share all that we have with these folks (that includes assets as well as debts), to share our decision making, to be accountable to our brothers and sisters in the community, and to stay put in this community until God calls us elsewhere. To all of that we said Yes.

We had prayers. Our mentors commended us to the community. It was really great. Our small group did a dance together - with a May pole. Pictures below.

Candace and I feel like this move to join is consistent with our journey thus far. We're trying to follow Jesus as faithfully as we can, and listening to the demands of the Gospel. At this point, with the kids and everything, it's hard to imagine giving ourselves more to mission or activism. Not while we have a lot of responsibility at home.

As we made these statements of commitment, I felt great about it. Still do. It just seems like the natural step in our journey. I feel like an integrated being.

Lilia's Injuries

2011-03-23T17:36:00.000-05:00

We almost made it to two years old before Lilia had her first trip to the emergency room. Candace and I always thought we'd be taking her there, just couldn't say how long it would've taken.
She fell during our small group meeting - from standing on a couch, landing with her lip against the edge of a coffee table. I saw it happen out of the corner of my eye: very scary!

We went to a very near by hospital, and waited for a good three hours before the stitches went it - only two. During the wait Lilia was in great spirits - loved the gown! She scream and bled during the stitching up part. Candace turned green.
Stitches came out yesterday, and she'll likely have only a very small scar.
Her adventurous nature will probably take us to the ER again. I'm hoping it's at least another two years!

February

2011-03-02T21:27:00.000-06:00

I know it's been a long time since I wrote anything and my fans are starving for more... (Mom)
but I haven't been too inspired in the day to day lately. Just gettin' stuff done.
I've just returned from the annual Amish Furniture expo - we visit with all the builders and I usually have about three pieces of pie in the course of 24 hours. I might post a few pictures later, but the Amish don't want their photos taken.

What I wanted to write about was how our church celebrates Black History month as a liturgical practice. Every church has two or three distinctives that make it a unique expression of the Body: at Reba, anti-racism is a calling that the people work with. Most of my life has been mostly white, and most folks with that type of background are reluctant to dive into anti-racist books/ talks/ ideas/ politics - or religion. But Reba is intentional about facing into the highly charged issues of race and justice.
What we did this year was to hear from different teachers about the Gospel and how it touches with racism. We remember that the people of God were exiled slaves for a long time, and once the Hebrews got their own land God told them to live like they were sojourners and to remember the days of oppression. Contemporary white Christians might be able to remember the heritage of the oppressed people of God and have a deep empathy and compassion for the African american culture.
I'm a little nervous to write all that, because I don't want to get people on the defensive... what comes next is just about our community here.

When Reba the community was started there was a group of Mennonite people working on the near west side in Chicago - where the poor, minority labor force lived. In the industrial revolution it was european (Greeks, Pols, Italians, Romanian...) and then after the depression there were more and more black and hispanic. So then there was this group of Mennonite folks who were called to serve among the poorest of the poor in the big city, so they went to this part of Chicago. This was about 1955, and they were white, and the people of the neighborhood were black. It was reverse integration at a difficult time in the country's history.
Those Mennonites became a part of our community a few years later. I have dinner with the same people. We have small group together. My kids stay at their houses.
I looked through a photo album from that time in the near west side neighborhood, and the faces are people I know. This connection to a people doing the right work at the right time is hard to spell out - but it matters a lot to me.

I heard one of those people say this week, "It occurred to me that it would be easier to change the kind of people I hung out with (and become like them) than to just decide to change by my own will power in the circumstance I was in." This was his explanation for why he decided to leave southern California in the mid 1950's.

Just this

2011-01-25T08:28:00.000-06:00

Pretty cute, eh?

My favorite read of the year:

2011-01-10T21:08:00.000-06:00

I can't wait any longer to write about this book. If you have a chance, please pick up a copy of this book and read it!

It's called Manna and Mercy by Daniel Erlander. In short (and the book is short) this is a broad pass through scripture, weaving in the themes that are always in scripture... what some call Meta-narative.
If I ever teach another bible study group, we will start with Manna and Mercy, before getting into any New or Old Testament book. It does such a good job of bringing understanding to the text of who God is and why he does what he does.
If people in churches would read this book, we might get away from the awful certainty plague of "I'm right and they are wrong." Also, it would be fine to read with a group or with a younger person - maybe high schoolers.

It's about 90 pages, full of drawings and every word is hand written. I love this guy's view of scripture!

Go to his website here.

Please read it.
JWM

I really enjoyed this (20 Min)

2011-01-09T19:14:00.000-06:00

Another book about (surprise) church!

2011-01-05T11:51:00.000-06:00

Our community is connected to a community in San Francisco called Church of the Sojourner - not to be confused with sojourners in DC/ Jim Wallace.
At SoJo the community there was a man who wrote a book, but it wasn't published before he died. The book is Stop Going to Church (And Be the Church) by John Alexander. Whipf and Stock might be publishing the book, but maybe not.
I am in the process of writing out the stuff I gained by reading the book in another paper that isn't really going to be read by anyone.

His idea is that Paul was clear in thinking that the church ought to be making people into saints, or that Christians should be becoming saints, but in modern times we never expect that to happen. We've lowered the standard. Alexander says that is because we need a community to help us with that process and no one can become a saint without a living Christian community (not necessarily a live-in church, but the kind of body of Christ that sees each other quite a lot. (So NOT a commuter church).
Alexander is pretty steeped in John Yoder's theology, so there was a lot about how the church views itself in relation to the world and nation. Bottom line there is that the church ought to set itself up as a counter cultural society that is especially different in the ways that the local status quo is in disagreement with Godly living. That means for most of us, offering an alternative way of life than consumerism and upward-mobility, violence and war and coercion, individualism and so forth.
There is a great section with an analogy: Becoming a Christian should be sort of like becoming an Apache. You can't do it all in one evening, or a 15 minute conversation, or anything like that. And you will merge with this group of people that has a specific and distinct way. And none of us are generally indians. We can be Apache or Comanche or Iroquois or whatever, but we need a specific people that we belong to. And belonging means something.

There were plenty of other good points in the book, but those are some hi-lights for me.

A book about a painter

2011-01-05T11:24:00.000-06:00

I read this book:

An autobiography about my favorite painter - James Rosenquist. He's unpretentious and tells a lot of good stories. I'd recommend you look him up online and see some of his paintings, because they are great, and you might be able to see what I find so interesting about his work.
A) He can paint - craftsmanship is a must for me
B) He works conceptually - I like the ideas
C) His work is pretty strong, graphic, confrontational (not in the naked way)
D) Plenty of commentary on consumerism, marketing, and war

I learned that he lives very close to where my mom and dad live now. I tried to visit him over the holiday, but he wasn't there and he wouldn't let anyone in his studio if he wan't there. I will try again! Also, his assistant gave me his email address, so I will attempt a correspondence.

Yoder Essays

2011-01-03T11:22:00.000-06:00

Our community offers Monday Night seminars most weeks of the year. My friend Allan taught a series on the theologan John Howard Yoder. Yoder is a fairly contemporary Mennonite theologian that I have heard a lot about, but never taken the time to read up on him before. This time I was able to attend a lot of the meetings and read all the essays. It was very good stuff for me, since I spend more time thinking about the nature and purpose of the Christian church than some people.
Yoder brought a lot of good insight to many of the thoughts I have dabbled in before. I'll just write about the stuff I can think of without returning to the papers.

When Constantine was emperor and made Christianity the state religion, this was "the fall of the church". Having the nation relate to a faith from the top down is a bad idea, and hurt the church in many ways: Now priests and people of religious service were automatically serving two masters. People who were previously outside of the faith were now considered inside the faith though nothing in their life had changed. Secular activities and cultural behaviors were "baptized" into Christian activity... A very big problem. The course of church history has followed without questioning the fusion of nationalism and faith in Jesus. Yoder and the Mennonites before him were astute to distinguish church from world, and to be clear that nationalism is belonging to the world.

At this point I can see that the stuff I got out of Yoder's work is exciting to me, but maybe not the most fun for those of you reading this web log.
Let's say I really liked Yoder's essays. They helped me to think through a lot of Church history and theology about the Kingdom. And I can leave it at that.

Another book

2011-01-01T14:41:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!
I read a book about money that was written by a man who was at Reba in the beginning - he's still here and lives just a few doors down from us. He has lived the principles he teaches in this book.
It's called Treasures in Heaven.

What I liked most about this book, other than that I know the author lives what he teaches, is his fierce obedience to the challenging financial teachings of the sermon on the mount.

Especially relevant stuff includes his interpretations on the secular reliance upon insurance companies, which seems to fly in the face of Jesus' warnings against storing up treasures and putting our hope in storehouses.

Another relevant subject Virgil talks about is a Christian alternative to medical insurance. This was first published 1982.

His chapter on what Jesus calls us to renounce is pretty significant. Overall the author stands by the idea that money is not neutral, it is an idol and a false god. Jesus said you have to choose to serve either money or God, but you can't pursue both. This is to me a bright contrast from the dominant message of evangelical culture that Christians are to relate to money only very slightly differently than the rest of the world.

Books I've read

2010-12-31T10:50:00.000-06:00

Part of the year in review will be me saying the books I've read.
My sister-in-law had a statistic that something like 60% of Americans will not read a whole book in a year.
So this entry is about a little book called God's Economy by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove.
Jonathan does a good job of telling stories from his experience and about his neighbors. There is no section at the end of the book where you enter your income and expenses to see how God wants you to budget.

I liked that his focus is on God's Kingdom, and his people tying into the Kingdom of God here and now. He doesn't spiritualize the wealth of a Believer, or worse - say that believers are bound for financial success and comfort (and if they don't achieve such worldly pleasures it is because they didn't have enough faith...) In stead Jonathan reminds us that the gains of discipleship far outweigh the costs and that a community of faith offers more security than a 401K or a big barn.
And once we shift our focus to Kingdom values, we can have all of what we need here and now. God is the extravagant giver, and he is concerned with us.

Christmas Vacation

2010-12-29T13:08:00.000-06:00

We just got back yesterday from Tampa where my mom and dad live. I saw three cousins that I haven't seen for about 7 years. I met my new cousin in law and my new niece, Julia. We ate a lot of food. I shared a cigar with the guys in honor of the new niece/ daughter/ granddaughter. We drove up and saw my dad's folks for lunch one day. We went to church at my parents place of worship.
On the plane home I noticed this:

If you know about the Tauntaun scene in Empire... well then I don't need to say anything else about this.

Best thing I've ever seen in sky mall.

Happy holidays!

Josh

Mmm boy

2010-12-11T19:27:00.003-06:00

You should go to Whole Foods and pick up some of this!

Eggnog is a drink I love. I usually do not buy any, and just drink it at mom's house. This nog-season I noticed the bottle above in the store. And I am smitten.
All farm raised and grass fed cows, whole milk, with the cream top. No preservatives and I think a very low level of pasteurization. Mmmm - best I can remember.

And that reminds me:
Best root-beer I ever had

These guys make their sodas in Madison WI - about 3 hours from here. And they use real honey instead of sugar or (booo) corn syrup.

Honestly - I am writing a blog about it. It's that good.

I'm so forward thinking.

2010-11-15T13:54:00.000-06:00

Have you seen the ads for a new type of cell phone by windows? They say they are getting cell phones back in controll or something. I noticed something today on an internet ad that they are using the phrase "Be here now" which is a phrase I used to use when youth group kids were using their cell phones instead of talking to each other. I'm feeling a little violated that a cell phone is being sold with the help of this concept. Booo!

As I looked up this video commercial, I learned that they claim the phone will be easier for you to check your facebook friends with, so it will be easier to not use it all day. Maybe I am not interpreting the times correctly, but it looks like the "smarter" the phones get, the more often they are used. If the new phone is as easy to use as they claim, won't people will be on them more?

It's a good commercial, untill they suggest that they have a solution.

I still claim it, that God wants us living in the moment. His treasures await us now. The Kingdom is at hand. Cell phones may be nice, but they won't help us live in the moment.

All Saints

2010-11-02T22:33:00.000-05:00

November first was all saints day on some calendars.

This word, saint, has been on my mind some. I read a book about community this year. The author was convinced that God intends for us to become saints in this life. The author got this from the writings of Paul, especially Ephesians. Not to become a wizard who walks on water or heals people with a touch, but people of mature spiritual character.

It seems like there isn’t too much talk about becoming an actual saint, not in the churches I’ve gone to. It is intimidating, daunting really, to plan to become a saint. Even if we changed the word from saint to spiritually mature… The author (John Alexander from Church of the Sojourner in San Francisco) is bold enough to say that the calling to become a saint is the real calling on each Christian, and that there isn’t a career path that God has as a calling for anyone, only his or her gifts being used to build up the church. Mr. Alexander also asserts that it is impossible to become a saint without the help of a community, and that is probably one reason there are so few saints in our places of worship. Individualistic Americans won’t learn the necessary practices that make a person into a saint.

Spiritual Formation has been an interest of mine. You might call it discipleship. Or maturity. Anybody could see that any of those terms has to do with a life of devotion – nobody is fully mature at 30 years old (age does not cause any spiritual maturity by itself). Becoming a saint takes a lot of effort and time. Lately we have been learning about the Life Model, which takes the concepts of maturity and development pretty seriously.

Learning how to listen to God in the moment and to live from the Heart instead of making decisions and speaking from the things I’ve learned so far or the ways I have been treated; being that attuned to God seems a long way off.

Thankfully, here in our community, there are many people who are elders in their spiritual development. They are able to help me learn how to “suffer well”. We are pressing in to the work we discern within us.

“Don’t call me a saint. I don’t want to be dismissed so easily.” – Dorothy Day

Here it comes...

2010-10-31T19:30:00.001-05:00

Year Four Trailer from Josh McCallister on Vimeo.

McUpdate

2010-10-26T16:16:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I guess this has become my web log, as opposed to Candace's Blog.

Lately we have been doing the usual, for us. Monday night potlucks and seminar - the seminars are put on by the Fellowship for all kinds of people. Candace and I have been getting a lot out of this one on maturity and what is called the Life Model. We are both exploring our inner lives and new emotional and relational skills we still need to develop. It turns out that maturity takes a whole life time. Who knew?

Tuesday nights we have Fellowship meetings. Lately they have had child care, so we get to go. Also, Jedidiah and Lilia get to spend more time playing with our neighbors Seth, Delanie, Soren, Saleem and other kids.

Wednesdays are my "day off" when Candace goes to work for a few hours.

Thursdays Candace has Reba leadership team meetings in the mornings. We try to go out on a date Thursday nights.

Fridays we have small group at night - potluck first, then sharing and prayer. It's working out pretty well so far.

Saturdays I work. Also, we are back to having our oatmeal small group for families with children in community. More people are having kids around here all the time! At night we have sabbath dinner.

Sunday is sabbath. 'Course we go to the meeting house for a couple hours in the morning, but then we usually avoid any kind of chore that we can't enjoy doing together.

And that's why I haven't written much here.
Also, my baby sister had a baby! Yup - on Sunday afternoon a little girl came into the world. The rest is for her to tell.
Shalom,
Josh

New Bed

2010-10-08T21:43:00.000-05:00

Jedidiah has moved from a toddler sized bed on the ground to a twin loft bed. Lilia is sleeping directly under him, sort of like a bunk bed.
When it was time to stain the bed, Jedidiah said he wanted it blue, and I was happy to try a colored stain.
Here are some pictures. It's a fun place to play. I have to stash the ladder soon after Lilia wakes up, or up she goes.

Lucky me

2010-09-25T23:42:00.001-05:00

If you know me, and you must to be reading this blog (mom), you should know who my favorite musician is. Yep, Bill Mallonee.
Last week my friend from small group notified me that Bill was playing in a near-by neighborhood soon. Well last night I got to take Candace to her first Bill Mallonee show. We went with another couple on a double date. I got to visit with Bill and ran into a guy I knew at Texas Tech Wesley, Shawn Gladding. Shawn is now living in community in Lexington and he's just released a book or something. Funny seeing him in Chicago.
Here is a lousy picture from a great evening:

Fun exchange

2010-09-15T19:47:00.000-05:00

Candace is always posting the fun stuff that happens around the house. I have one she hasn't written about yet.
During one of the many discussions about super heros in our home, Candace dropped a major bomb on Jedidiah with, "Batman doesn't have any super powers." You might understand my feeling of accomplishment that she knows this about Batman.
Jedidiah was unwilling to accept this statement, naturally. His response: "Yes he does. He has experience about caves."

... What can you say to that? Awesome!

A thought on integrity

2010-09-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

Hi.
     We've had some active weeks again. The littles have been sick. Lilia is still a bit sensitive and not sleeping too well.
     I am going to finish building Jedi a loft bed this week, and then he'll sleep in a blue stained wonder. (He's asking if we can also make it orange too somehow! That's my boy.)

     Two weekends ago I participated in a retreat put on by Reba for nurturing new communities. We had participants from Community of Communities in DC, Formation House in Pittsburgh, a residential rehab in DC, Misseo Dei in Minneapolis, Third Way in St. Paul, Springwater in Portland, a group from Elkhart IN, and a group from KC MO.
     One subject we talked about for a minute was how to participate in worship and live among a congregation with some serious differences from our own theologies. I thought it was a helpful dialogue, since I've found myself in some churches that were not on the same page as me.
     So the most helpful thing I heard was that it's important to feel like you have integrity when you worship - meaning you aren't suspending your values to be with a certain congregation. Making your differences known in some way to some people without insisting that things should change for you - that allows you to be your true self and participate in a church that isn't tailored to you.
     Another thing along these lines that I heard in worship at Reba church was the idea of a sacrifice of praise. What we heard was that there are times when we don't feel like singing, and we don't agree with the words of the song, or we just don't have passion to worship in that moment. When this happens, it is a sacrifice to sing or to be there anyway.
     Maybe you can identify with being in a group where it feels like you aren't being honest if you just go along with all the things you don't hold true.

I am really enjoying this

2010-08-31T13:59:00.000-05:00

This video is really great! Careful, though.

I am thinking about the church as it relates to the world, or rather as the church is called to be seperate from the world. One person I know recently shed light on this idea that the superpowers have shifted during the history of the church from Empires to the Catholic church to nations and now we see that the economic power is more mighty than the powers of the past.

How does the church set up another way, another culture that is an alternative to the world?

Hope you like it!

Video from this past spring

2010-08-16T21:20:00.002-05:00

Another one for my mom.

Jedidiah and Lilia celebrate Easter from Josh McCallister on Vimeo.

Videos being finished

2010-08-14T11:14:00.000-05:00

January, February in Evanston from Josh McCallister on Vimeo.

I made this video from the fall

2010-08-09T09:06:00.001-05:00

To my number one fan

2010-08-05T13:22:00.000-05:00

My Mom made me update the blog.
In brief:
* We had Candace's younger sister Savanah in town for about 10 days. It was great.
* I went to Kansas City MO - old hometown, to visit some Christian communities, also great.
* We are going to spend the weekend at the Fellowship's lake house with our small group
* Grandpa is coming (my dad) to be with us for Jedidiah's dinasour B-day bash
* My grandma is sick and getting care, Candace's grandmother is hurt and getting care
* Candace's older younger sister Mallary has landed in China, where she and Chip will live for 4 years.
* We'll be going back to the lake house for a novice retreat in a couple more weeks
* It's been pretty hot and humid
* I am reading dangerous theology about the Church and community
* I haven't sold any furniture today.

A quote from Community and Growth:

2010-07-05T13:35:00.000-05:00

"Some people flee from commitment because they are frightened that if they put down roots in one soil they will curtail their freedom and never be able to look elsewhere... But freedom doesn't grow in the abstract; it grows in a particular soil with particular people. Inner growth is only possible when we commit ourselves with and to others."

Candace and I talked the other night about how when we met we thought our life together would be defined by this obedience to God that had us forever packing up and going. Going to the next mission field and the next worthy cause. Vagabonds for the Gospel.

Now, our life has taken some changes. We value mission and service to the poor still. But our thinking about how best to do such work has changed. We no longer think we have all the right answers that the "lost" world is groaning for. If we did we could show up, teach everybody some stuff and be on our way. Now, though, the service we think we can offer comes out of a stable life. If we have any truth to give away (and yes, we still believe we do) it's going to be exchanged in a trusting relationship. Trust comes from grace, truth, and TIME.

So our dream now is not to have bags forever packed, but rather to have a place and a people we are committed to.
Shalom,
Josh

A visit to Ford Heights

2010-06-28T13:00:00.000-05:00

There is a little town on the south side of Chicago called Ford Heights. It is an extremely depressed community - very few people have jobs. There is a lot of crime and gang activity. our friends moved their a year and a half ago because it has some of the worst statistics of any single neighborhood in Chicagoland.
Our friends are doing work like that we imagine ourselves doing in a few years. It's not unlike Word Made Flesh's model. Live among folks who are in a bad situation. Share in their troubles. Believe that the Merciful and Loving God is present, and seek to be a visible reminder of God's Presence.

They are not giving away things - money, food, clothes, medical care, or even social services like counseling or job training or tutoring. Nope. They are being present without a tidy "service" or title.

Our family visit was really great. Restful and enjoyable. We ate fresh out of their garden - growing strong in an abandoned lot next door. (Incidentally, this is one of those impoverished communities you may have heard about that is miles away from any kind of grocery store. People in Ford Heights would have to travel by car, or more likely bus, to buy a piece of fruit or milk.)

This little visit was a reminder that we have a trajectory. We want to live among the poor - not to save them, but to know and honor them. To learn from them and be called friends.

May you all find an example here and there of the type of life you are aiming for. May you revisit those plans often enough to keep the inner flame aglow.

Connecting and Separating

2010-06-10T17:49:00.000-05:00

I’ve been thinking about a concept a friend introduced in small group. The concept is that we are constantly relating to people with inner as well as audible voices from one of two “spaces”. We are always given the choice to separate ourselves from the other person or people. We can choose and react to the differences (either real or imagined). Reactions usually fall into fear, shame, and judgment. The other space is one for connecting, and working to connect. I have learned that separation comes naturally and connection takes more effort. Separation is a reaction, while connection is mostly a deliberate choice. We make these decisions all day long consciously and unconsciously.

One situation I have noticed these choices presenting themselves is in the context of a movement – like the social justice movement or the environmental movement, certainly the civil rights movement. Personally I am thinking about the New Monasticism movement. In such a movement a zealous young person might want to make their cause a part of their identity, and a mark of distinction. A judgment. A way to pull apart from the herd.

When I heard a friend here talk about a very famous and outspoken Christian who was very different ideologically from my friend, he said that he couldn’t associate himself with the public figure. I think they are brothers in Christ. But my friend wants to make his movement into his identity, and that means separating from the other man.

It’s so easy to get me to talk about the people I think are dumb and that I don’t agree with. It is an impulse to separate. Though, when I do decide to connect and meet another person, and especially if another person decides to connect with me…I feel the Kingdom is coming in those moments.

We just celebrated our 8^th anniversary. (We rode bikes along a river to the Chicago Botanic Gardens. It was beautiful weather and a good time. Also, it was free! Stop shopping.) Anyway, reflecting on our marriage, there are a lot of times when I was trying to separate myself from Candace emotionally or just plain physical space, and she was doing the harder work of choosing to connect and move toward me. She’s a good lady. Since I have learned about this concept I have been trying to consciously choose (and to note that I do have a choice in the matter) to love, accept, forgive and extend mercy.

The friend who introduced me to this says, “We will have to be intentional rather than reactive in order to choose connection.” We’ll need to be willing to “choose again”.

less anxious, more receptive

2010-06-08T09:34:00.003-05:00

This is further thinking from the previous post, so if you can read that first this will make more sense.

The inner growth that is unplanned or less controlled – the growth I sense coming from living in community is doing the work of moving information from my head into my heart. I have had a lot of trouble moving information or knowledge into my heart where I live and love naturally. A lot of time has been spent praying that I might act better, and hoping that I treat people better, but those desires were kind of external – I was wishing I could be different, not knowing exactly what I was aiming at. I think of the motivation as coming from behind – a shove. What I am experiencing in the fellowship of these saints is a drawing forward, toward another way that is being modeled all around me.

Just after writing the last post, I was reading E. Stanley Jones’ book Growing Spiritually. He was writing about growing in peace instead of growing by struggle and tension. “You cannot grow by …becoming troubled about growing.” “Don’t struggle to grow, surrender to grow. Empty your hands and take the gift.” We must learn how to take in, to be receptive. Expending energy is good for growth, but only to a certain degree, and perhaps our efforts are maximized when coming from a posture of receptivity and peace.

Growing things change

2010-06-04T14:21:00.003-05:00

"Healthy things grow, and growing things change." - Jim Kelly

I shared in our small group a few weeks ago about where I have been in my spiritual journey lately. I thought I might write it out for some people to read.

John Miller (a founder of Reba Place) wrote about the beatitudes of Jesus that the people Christ had described were salt and light. They were not being instructed to be salt and light or commanded to act like salt or light. The people who are meek and broken, poor and mourning, hungry and thirsty are salt and light, and they will make a difference in this world.

My first serious Christian training has taught me to believe that I am responsible for being like light and salt. I am used to having quiet times; reading and praying and keeping track of where I have been and where I am going. I have made maturity goals of sorts and sought to achieve them through chosen books and disciplines. I like the thrill of new insights and often sense that the Holy Spirit is giving them to me as I study and think.

Life in community is different from that independent growth program I've just described. Also, because I don’t have a ton of time to read and think, I am in less control of my maturing process. Before, I spent one summer in community and I know that it was an intense time of inner changing and shifting for me. I have trusted that the process of living in community will continue to help me mature. Something in me feels I should be more in control of the changes that are happening. But that feeling isn’t right. I am disciplining my life and practicing my faith in some very real ways. Mentorship, accountability, fellowship, small groups, the witness of the saints here, the examples living all around me – those are all contributing to my formation. I know that they are. But I can’t tell you exactly what is changing, how things are shifting, the ways I am different. I believe that I am.

The things I set out to change are not the things that are changing. But things are changing. I liken this to losing my life and finding it.

Subasta!

2010-05-26T14:26:00.000-05:00

In the middle of our retreat Candace and I had to sneak away...
Jedidiah's school was having their annual auction (Subasta in spanish), and Jedidiah had his first official stage performance to coincide.
He was not rattled by the 300 people snapping pictures and roaring loudly. He played his cardboard guitar and sang his spanish tune with marvelous stage presence. Video is not ready. until then:

you might be able to tell that he's wearing a cape - Awesome!

Retreat

2010-05-26T14:21:00.000-05:00

This past weekend we had a Fellowship retreat. Candace was the planner of this event and she did a mighty-fine job!
I thought you might like to hear about the tradition of retreats here, and what we did together last weekend.
Reba does take a retreat every year, usually at the beginning of the summer. they have often gone to a lake house in Wisconsin, or to the community farm called Plow Creek* (Sidebar - we are connected to this intentional Christian farm community, and we buy a share from their Community Supported Agriculture operation. We are going to be receiving our first box of fresh organic produce this afternoon!). Throughout the ages, monastic Christians have kept a discipline of Rule of Life which is an order of regular work, rest, celebration, mourning and retreat. Part of the Reba Rule is making sure we take time for retreat each year.

[This was from the opening talent show on Friday night that incorporated many people with disabilities we work with]

Lately the retreats have been keeping closer to the neighborhood since there are more and more folks who would not make the trip because of age, ability, or illness. This year we had a theme of "Treasures old and new" so we staid in the neighborhood to treasure our elderly and disabled members.
Among the 35 covenant members there are something like 18 people who are either senior citizens or disabled. We took time during the retreat to celebrate them among us, and to think together about how we might make life as enjoyable as possible given various physical limitations. There were sharings from a woman who is homebound from her allergies, a man with MS who has lived from his chair for the last 40 years, and a woman of 89 years who is quite thankful to live in community and to be surrounded by loved ones on every side. (She never married. Reba has been her family for 50 years.)

There were lots of wonderful things from our time together. The last day we all traveled out to a nature center nearby to be in the woods and smell growing things.

Spirit. Direction.

2010-05-21T17:03:00.000-05:00

     This weekend is the Reba retreat. We will stay in town and have time together with no business to accomplish - just prayer, praise, fellowship, food and fun. Rest. Candace is the head planner of this event, as a part of her service on the Fellowship leadership team. She has done a wonderful job, as you probably would have guessed.
     In other news, we are leading a small group! We've been meeting for about three months. It is going well. We get together for just one hour per week. No nonsense, no small talk. This isn't the model I would recommend or seek out, but it was the time slot that worked for people. We have nine people including Candace and I. (Ten if Lilia is awake!)
     We are doing something like a group Spiritual Direction. This is a great process that we are just getting aquainted with. Two people come with something to share about - something personal about their spiritual life. The rest of us come prepared to listen and pray. That is how we can pull off a quality meeting in one hour.
     I have been very thankful for this new type of meeting lately. As other people talk about their own struggles and victories I feel like I am learning a whole lot, and I am able to grow from their experiences. I learn new spiritual practices from the life we share.
Shalom.

Jedi set this scene up himself

2010-04-24T10:09:00.000-05:00

Megachurch and mission statement

2010-04-24T10:04:00.000-05:00

Last weekend we were privileged to visit Mallary and Chip in Michigan. On Sunday morning we worshipped at a megachurch. It had really nice music and a stellar sermon. The Sunday school class I attended was on the Apostle's Creed, and the teacher was holding to good doctrine. It was an Evangelical place.
I was asked over the weekend what our church and community are all about. While we do have a statement of "continuing the ministry of Jesus and the work of his Kingdom" that statement is pretty broad. The Fellowship (distinct from the congregation) mission is to continue the work of Jesus by being "a community of love and Discipleship and by nurturing other communities as God gives us grace."
When I was asked in the megachurch environment what we are all about at Reba, I felt like every answer I gave wasn't up to snuff. We aren't growing in number, nor is that emphasized. We don't have a lot of programs to offer. We never talk about seekers. There are hardly ever sermon series'. But I definitely sense that this is a great cloud of mature Christians unlike any other group I have seen. And I feel like the congregation is more healthy than any I've been witness to.
As far as the fellowship is concerned, I have been working with a group of people in ministry or nurturing other communities. That has seemed to me like apostolic work - visiting small clusters of believers who are trying to live an alternate way to that of the empire, of mammon, of individualism, consumerism and militarism. Helping these small communities to work through their problems and continue the work of Jesus in their part of the world. This work feels related to the work of the apostles in the new testament epistles.
Even the folks in the neighborhood that do not participate in the broader work I have just described are committed to becoming more perfect people and a more perfect society - the vision of the Kingdom.
So there you have it - some sort of answer to the question, "What are those Reba people trying to accomplish?"
- Josh

Holy week in review

2010-04-04T21:28:00.000-05:00

   In years past I (Josh) have found it fun to web log about the things I think about during Holy Week. This year, with two kids in early childhood, I am hardly able to think. I can't seem to write these things down with the frequency I used to. But I have been enjoying the family and this season in the church calendar.
   On Palm Sunday we went to worship at our church, and it was fun and exciting. We did the palm branch waving and singing. There was a new play written by a friend. Jedidiah has been asking good questions about this part of the Jesus story.
   At night Jedi and I read before he goes to sleep, and we talked about the crowd and the donkey Jesus sat on instead of a hero's steed.
   On Tuesday we had a Passover Seder at our friends house next door. Our family and two other families from this building went to Rob and Julie's. We all cooked some parts of the meal. We lit candles and tasted the salty and bitter and sweet. We broke bread and Jedidiah went looking for the missing piece. I love the Seder because it is a celebration that is physically significant, and not just information about beliefs. The children have a role to play.
   On Friday our church had a service, and we attempted to go to it, but the kids weren't in to sitting through a mournful thing, so we all were in the nursery. And then we went home.
Then there was the service this morning.
I love this church!
Songs all our own, and dances, and people really happy about Jesus.
   After the usual components of a church service we have a sharing time. This morning there were at least two people with mental or psychiatric disabilities who needed to share, and they did. Ours is a church for the broken, the simple, the needy. These people weren't put in the back row - they became a part of the Easter service. That seems just right.
I'll put some video up with the dances, but it's impossible to video the emotional charge of the worship.
   We went to a potluck lunch at our friends' house (a communal household here with about 9 young people who live there). They'd invited a ton of people. I imagine there were over thirty people eating together. The kids had a place to be and we could all relax and enjoy this church community. The people in the household had agreed together to fast from alcohol for Lent, and so they broke the fast together.
I am still really happy to live here!

Kidney

2010-03-28T14:31:00.003-05:00

I have written before about how much I love our church here. Well last Sunday was another great day for Reba. A friend and neighbor who has been here for several decades decided to donate one kidney to his favorite grocery store cashier. We celebrated this gift during the collection of the offering, and prayed over both the donor and recipient. He went in for surgery on Friday morning. Saturday, the Chicago Tribune put it on the front page, and I saw him walking down our street with his wife last night as I was coming home from work. He’s my hero for the day. If you want to read about it, here is the link.

These Christians inspire me.

~ JWM

Update: this came on national TV this morning

Living the Dream of Community

2010-03-13T21:21:00.002-06:00

Tonight was a night that felt like the realization of my dream of community that I’ve had for years. When Josh and I were considering moving into community a few years ago, people would often ask us what our reasons were. Josh, of course, had philosophical and even biblical explanations that I agreed with on intellectual and spiritual levels. I, however, would usually respond with a more practical answer. I would say that I thought that life could be both more full and easier to handle for a stay-at-home mom if she lived in community with others. I dreamed of sharing the load with other families – sharing meals, helping one another with childcare, and spending time with moms and kids during the day. I knew deep down that life at home with young kids could be more fulfilling and less isolating if we could find a way to share it with other people.

Often, I have felt disappointed here at Reba Place. Many times, I still feel alone as a parent at home by myself with two very needy children. I have hoped and prayed for God to give us creative ways to fellowship with others who may feel isolated and to share the domestic responsibilities in a way that would lighten the load for all of us. A year and a half into our stay in this community, these ventures into new ways of sharing life are finally happening. I feel excited – really excited – about what is happening and what is possible. Allow me to share a few of these ideas that we are putting into practice…

As many of you know, we moved in June to a 6-unit apartment building with more families interested in sharing life together. In January, a family with a 1-year old boy and another baby on the way moved in next-door to us. Also, a family with two boys (ages 2 and 5) live upstairs. This has afforded us some inventive childcare possibilities. In addition to our children playing at each other’s homes, we have been using baby monitors after the children go to sleep to allow couples to go on dates without having to hire babysitters! I am able to go to a Thursday morning meeting while Lilia sleeps happily in her bed, because my neighbor Stephanie is willing to watch her baby monitor for me. What a great deal!

Another idea that came out of community is allowing me to cook a Sabbath dinner and food for Sunday lunch while my children play comfortably in our own home. A grandmother who is part of our community asked me how her 11-year old granddaughter (who loves small children) could help our family. Jadyn and her grandmother have been coming to play with Jedidiah and Lilia from 4-6 pm on Saturday evenings for the past 3 weeks. Tonight, this arrangement got even better when our neighbor and her 1-year old son came over to socialize and play, too. I cannot express in words how happy I felt to hear all of them having such a wonderful time talking and laughing in the kids’ room while I was making dinner, washing dishes, and doing laundry. My children were in the comfort of their own home, having a delightful time with friends, and not even feeling like they were away from their mommy. Periodically, I would get the chance to interact with both of them in different ways, without feeling constantly interrupted. We were even able to invite the neighbors over for dinner afterward. After dinner, my neighbor and I discussed even more ideas of ways that we could easily help one another with daily tasks. What a lovely evening!

I am also learning the simple and courageous act of asking others for help and then receiving that help. When our new small group caused a time-conflict, I expressed disappointment at not being able to get food at a weekly food drop-off organized by Reba Place. A man at our Monday-night potluck offered to pick up the food for me and drop it off at our apartment after small group. Today at our natural food co-op, I was feeling overwhelmed in a busy setting with both children, and I asked for help. A friend was willing to stop her shopping and hold Lilia while I finished up my shopping.

Here are just a few other ways that life in community is making my life better in really practical ways:

-We are doing a meal-share with a family in a different building. I cook dinner for both families on a busy day for their family, and they cook dinner for both families on a busy night for our family. Sometimes we eat together, but we often simply exchange food. This is a great blessing when I come home from work hungry and exhausted.

-We share items with one another regularly – vacuum cleaners (ours happens to be broken at the moment), ingredients, baby carriers, children’s clothing, etc.

-Our neighbors, Rob and Julie, who live in the building next to ours, constructed a pulley-system to send items back and forth between our buildings.

-We will be splitting a share of fruits, vegetables, and eggs from Plow Creek Farm, starting in June and going through October.

These are just a few of the simple, beautiful, amazing joys I am experiencing in community right now. I know that they are not especially spiritual, in the conventional sense. But, for me, they have been the provision of God to my life in a very practical and often lonely phase of life. I am deeply grateful. ~Candace

At a loss

2010-03-10T19:35:00.000-06:00

A loss for words. We've been quiet. The blog Candace works on is getting more attention that this one. What kind of a time are we in, when folks like us maintain several blogs? It's just sick.

I'm kidding.
We have been doing the usual - pre-school, work, lunch, nap, play, work, diapers, dinner, bath and bed. We are changing as we live here. Subtle things about the way we run our home and beyond.
If you ask a question, I will try and answer on this blog - comment away!

Word Portrait of our family life

2010-02-13T21:21:00.000-06:00

From Candace

In the past few weeks, our family has added some new activities to our weekly routine:

-Josh and I have both decided to take one morning each week by ourselves away from the kiddos. My special morning happens on Mondays. I go work out at the YMCA, and then I go to coffee/tea with my neighbor and friend, Julie. Then, I spend some time at home resting, praying, and doing a few household chores that I can’t get done with the kids around. Josh has been taking Wednesday mornings to think, pray, and do art. So far, this has been a rejuvenating practice for both of us.

-I have joined the Leadership Team for Reba Place Fellowship. I am representing young couples and families in this group. Reba has a “cloverleaf” diagram, representing the different aspects of the fellowship. The categories in include discipleship, nurturing other communities, finances, and community of love. I will be focusing on the community of love category, which includes small groups, common meals, the annual retreat, and nurturing community members at different life stages. I feel a little intimidated about this new role, but I am excited about the chance to learn and grow in this new way. I will meet with this team every Thursday morning.

-On Friday mornings, we have a new small group meeting in our home. The group is very diverse, including many ages and life stages. We met last week for the first time. I am excited about getting to know this new group of people. I am also hopeful about how we will be able to support and listen to one another.

-We will be sharing meals with a new family at Reba Place on a weekly basis. We have worked out a routine of alternating cooking a weekly meal. Tonight, we made the meal (a delicious quinoa salad and blueberry muffins) and the family came over to pick up their portion of the meal. We are hoping that this will be a good way to lighten the load of having to cook for our families every night. Really, I enjoy cooking for other people, so this was a lot of fun!

-We will continue having the Saturday morning oatmeal breakfast for couples and families.

-We observe Sabbath beginning on Saturday nights. We have a family meal together that night to mark the beginning of Sabbath. Lately, we have begun viewing Sunday afternoons as family time. Now that we have carved out some alone time during the week for ourselves, we feel free to just enjoy family time on Sundays.

I hope this is not boring to read! I just wanted to give you a better picture of what is going on in our lives!

Snowy days

2010-02-10T15:11:00.000-06:00

We've had about 8 - 10 inches of now in the last two days. We didn't take Jedidiah to school - couldn't tell if they were in session or not.
Jedi and I (josh) took a walk to the post office and bank - about a quarter-mile. We took about an hour and helped some people who were stuck in their cars. Jedidiah can't help but walk through the high snow. If there is a pile that's been plowed up in a parking lot or something, he must attempt to climb it - though he cannot get out once he falls through. Pretty fun!

Did you all know that our friends Ryan and Amberly came to visit a few weeks ago? Yep, they did. And Athan and Morgan came too. It was a full, fun weekend.
JWM

Our church's advent stuff

2010-01-26T09:00:00.002-06:00

Installation art

2010-01-13T15:27:00.000-06:00

Jedidiah set this up in our dining room.

It's a doll, not Lilia

Last week I wrote

2010-01-13T15:23:00.001-06:00

Receiving

As newbies in the neighborhood and the community, we’ve been very needful creatures. We have had to ask for help a lot. And it is tough, but we need to learn how to receive. I like to say that the mark of healthy community is reciprocity: everyone gives and everyone receives.

Recently I was working on a project with a man in the fellowship, and he said that was the issue when Peter was refusing to have his feet washed. Peter liked being a giver, but didn’t want to be needy or receive – it was humiliating (or humbling or something along those lines). I know that little story from the last supper means other things as well, but among other things, Peter liked being on top. Of course Jesus was always working on an upside down Kingdom, where the least are the greatest and where the receivers are making big contributions – the weak teach us about the Kingdom in ways the strong never will. But I still don’t like the feeling of being weak, needing help, being vulnerable.

Janurary 6th I wrote

2010-01-13T15:22:00.003-06:00

Renunciation

We have been reading a book about finances from a Jesus-from-the-gospels perspective. It is a very god book to read by one of our literal neighbors, Virgil Vogt. In the book there is a section about renunciation – how Jesus required his disciples to renounce worldly possessions, their past life, and even their own family time to follow him. Hopefully you can find scriptures enough to back this up without me typing them here.

In our current times, it seems you hear missionaries praised for leaving the comforts of this culture for the call of God in their life. And they should be praised. But the exciting thing I heard this time while looking at this subject is that anyone who wants to be a disciple is called to actually leave many things to make room to follow Jesus’ Way.

I thought about a “seeker friendly” program I was familiar with while leading small groups that has an evangelistic edge, but I cannot recall the pairing of receiving Jesus with leaving the comforts of our culture in order to receive the comforts of the Kingdom.

Especially with regard to money, we are invited to renounce our claim on what is “ours”. We are expected to actually do it – not just be willing to do it. Give it all away, or share it. Literally open our homes to folks who need a place to eat or sit or sleep.

Looking back on the last 16 months, we have had a lot of stress on our household. Some of it is just family life: Jedi starting school, having a new baby in the house. Some of the stress has been part of us following Jesus to this place. We aren’t furthering our careers, or getting an education, we aren’t making money. We have had to learn a new (and much bigger) city, make new friends, find jobs, et cetera. I guess I am remembering that those hardships are a result of some of our renunciations and I find that thought comforting.

December 9th I wrote

2010-01-13T15:21:00.002-06:00

I think I have said this before, but I really enjoy living in community. On Monday night I was walking home from work at about 6pm, and that happens to be the time when our potluck and seminar take place. As I went to fetch Jedidiah so we could attend together, I saw at least seven people I know bundled up for the weather, carrying a hot dish, and smiling. All of us walking around, living our lives together, congregating throughout the week, spontaneously and also with planning. This feels like a life well lived. I feel very much like this is the place we are supposed to be right now.

Winter time is a good time

2009-12-16T19:57:00.000-06:00

Being in the neighborhood is a great feeling for me these days. I love walking home from work and seeing about seven people I know - these days everyone is bundled and not very interested in lengthy outdoor discussions, but a smile and a friendly face is good enough.
Our building has six apartments in it, and we have friends living in four of them (not including our own unit). Most of these folks come over on Saturdays for oatmeal. We have little trade-offs for kid watching.
This morning I had a woman over who grew up as a Jewish Christian in Russia. She told me a few great stories about her upbringing. She lives in the apartment above us.
We traveled to Tampa for thanksgiving with my (Josh's) parents/ siblings etc. It was a fabulous time with six days off in a row! Jedidiah really liked Dinosaur World. We also had a Christmas gift exchange as this is the only time we are all together in the year.
For Christmas we are planning to go to Arkansas for a Nisbett family get together. (Looking forward to it!)
A note on community living: We have been included in more stuff these days - I am presenting on a panel this coming Monday night, and was asked to share a little during a church service a few weeks back. Candace is playing harp in worship, and she has been asked to consider being a part of the fellowship leadership team. I have been invited to a gathering for intentional community coordinators in San Francisco next month.
We knew coming into this that it would take some time for us to feel a part of things around here. Now we are more than a year into it, and things have started to feel more like we are included.
And, last night we decided that this apartment is our favorite home we've lived in so far.

Some potpourri thoughts running through my head as winter approaches. Peace.

The Kiddos

2009-11-14T20:17:00.000-06:00

Here are a few recent pictures of the kids:

Lilia is 7 months old! She is bright-eyed, happy, and ready to move! She is almost crawling, but not quite. You can see her first two teeth in this picture.

Jedidiah is creative and full of life. He is going through a tough stage right now, but his sweet and hilarious little personality come through frequently. He came in and surprised me one day with this bubble beard he had made for himself while washing his hands. Oh, he is also wearing a towel "cape" - he is really into capes these days.

Living on Monroe Street

2009-11-14T20:11:00.000-06:00

This is a bit overdue, but here are a few pictures of our "new" apartment. Candace's dad was here this week, and he helped us with some organization around the house. It was great to have you, Pop Pop Tom!

LIVING ROOM

DINING ROOM

KITCHEN

MASTER BEDROOM

KIDS' ROOM (still in process)

Autumn

2009-11-08T18:42:00.002-06:00

The updates have been infrequent lately… But we have had eventful lives these past few weeks.

We decided to relate to the Fellowship as Novice members – which means we are trying on the fellowship budget and discerning the call on our lives for a future in communal living.

Work at the furniture shop has been steady, and I celebrated a year on staff there.

The oatmeal group is continuing on Saturday mornings. Family celebrations are certainly a part of community life. We continue to practice some Sabbath keeping, and we’re learning about the struggle to rest. (It sounds so good in writing, but I have to get the laundry done sometime, and wouldn’t it be nice to go out to eat today?)

Since Savanah (Candace’s youngest sister) is in school at Asbury College, and many of our friends are studying at Asbury Seminary in Wilmore, Kentucky, we made a trip down there last weekend. Halloween is a wholesome event in the “Holy City”. We saw Ryan and Amberly Strebeck, Billy and Kelly Lawson, Jay and Charity Leeson, Greg and Jennifer Haseloff, and many more. It’s pretty strange that so many people we know are in this little town about 7 hours away, but it’s pretty great too.

This past Friday Candace coordinated a potluck for the families at Jedidiah’s pre-school. It’s an annual event that we’ve never participated in before. Candace did a great job, and the teachers said it was the most organized potluck they’ve had so far – a huge success. (Think about 100 people in a church gym – approximately 50 are under the age of six, and then think “organized”).

The kids are still holding on to a little cold, and they’re sleep is off – so our sleep is off. But we continue to pray for health, and God is faithful. We had a house blessing this past week as well – a tradition here, where we go from room to room and invite the Spirit to do creative work in our lives as we tend to domestic endeavors.

Pop Pop Tom (Nisbett) will be coming to visit again this week. We all look forward to that, but Jedidiah especially!

The Night

2009-10-26T15:32:00.002-05:00

Night-time is a time when I lie down at my “post” (my bed) and anticipate the exciting experiences that await me. I smile as I consider the possibilities…Who will be sick tonight? Will some one throw up on me or simply wake up afraid? Will some one have a fever or a stuffy nose? How many minutes will I sleep before the first call? Will it be our cat who awakens me first? Beside my bed I see my special tool for sucking snot out of noses and a pile of tissues. I am ready for whatever comes my way. The night is such an exciting time – to think that I used to sleep through it.

In other words, two sick kiddos for over a week. They seem to be on the up-swing now.

Lilia is 6 months old

2009-10-07T14:36:00.000-05:00

This here video is about 1 minute long.

Family Shabbat

2009-10-04T14:39:00.000-05:00

We have hosted a few more visitors lately. Eric and Carmen Kluth from Cleveland (pictured), Rachel, Andy and Hannah Devorak from Jacksonville, and Laura Edwards from Albuquerque. The last few weeks have had a pretty normal routine, aside from the visitors. We have our Saturday morning oatmeal group that has sort of taken roots and runs pretty well without a lot of organizing. This weekend we had 21 people in our living room. It was over-full.

Our life in community has been very busy, often hurried, and we have given in to worry a time or two. As I think about the past year there are just a couple themes that I have been particularly interested in as I study, think, and dream. One is Sabbath. Our oatmeal group started talking more about practicing the discipline of Sabbath this week, and it seems like something that many of us in families see as a form of worship and devotion that is radical and meant for the whole family. Reba Place used to have a pretty well established celebration around Sabbath, but nobody remembers a regular thing in the past four or five years, so we have some investigating to do to uncover the local traditions.

Some helpful guidelines as we plan on a Saturday night through Sunday Sabbath celebration: We will rest, worship, and delight in good things. We will not work, participate in commerce, or worry. See how radical that is! It will take us a long time to get it rolling, but we have already started. Shabbat Shalom! Josh

What's with the new look?

2009-09-11T20:04:00.000-05:00

I am home alone – Candace and the kids are away in Arkansas visiting most of the Nisbett clan. That means I have time for projects. Hopefully there will be a new year in review video ready by Monday.

Also, I have a few minutes for reflection. It has been a year since we set sail across the great plains in our Budget truck loaded with worldly possessions. A year ago we posed the first WakeUpdate message. It started with this quote: “If you want to change society, then you must tell an alternative story.” We’ve changed the look of our web log based on this anniversary.

We want to raise our family and to live our life in another frame of thinking from the competitive, individualistic, materialistic main stream. We want to but…

Just this week Jedidiah started pre-school in what turns out to be quite an elite program. We were blessed to stumble into this slot for a bilingual Spanish-emergent multi-age class, heterogeneous school. At the first informal orientation it was clear that some of these kids come from well-to-do families. Strollers and car-seats are a giveaway. I felt pretty self-conscious about the clothes I was wearing and the way Jedi was dressed. I had to keep reminding myself that we are choosing this other way – not pursuing the status symbols. But I want to tell you that I was embarrassed, even though everybody was very warm to us.

I could go on about that, but I won’t. Here are some pictures instead!

First day of school pictures

2009-09-11T20:03:00.000-05:00

Trip to Clovis

2009-08-27T09:54:00.000-05:00

Jedidiah and Josh went to Clovis NM over the weekend to see Katie and Jerri Palmer get married. It was a great wedding, and a great visit. The old church seems to be doing really well, and we got to see a lot of familiar faces – there was a lot of love.

It was a highly relational time. We ate every meal with someone we knew, usually two or more. I met a number of new people through the wedding. Some were interested in the intentional community. Jedidiah was the ring bearer and I was honored to play the part of the best man. Katie’s maid of honor came from Chicago too, so we will try to convince them to make a visit our way before too long.

Hospitality was extended by everyone. Dear sweet Rhonda, my former coworker, drove the 100 miles to the airport to pick us up and bring us to Clovis – she had baked me a pie as a gift as well! We stayed comfortably at the home of Sid and Selena, helping ourselves to whatever treats we found in the fridge. Selena even kept Jedi a couple nights while I tried to keep up with younger single people. My friend and mentor Jim (who happens to be a Church of the Brethren pastor) drove us back to Lubbock. In Lubbock we spent a little time with my friends Keith and Erica and then went with them to a Quaker waiting worship service (I’d never been to one before). Then sister/aunt and uncle Jessica and Chris had us stay at their house before catching our flight the next morning.

Candace and Lilia had a peaceful and restful time in Illinois, napping, and doing girl stuff. When Jedi saw his mom and sister at the baggage claim he was super excited. People in the airport asked us how long they had been apart. He’s a sweet boy.

Family in community

2009-08-15T21:01:00.000-05:00

At the McCallister house we have been struggling to balance two lives. These have both been regular on this web log: Family life and Community life. Recently, we have been exploring our contribution to Reba Place as a young family (and quite in need of support, we would add). Contributing as a needy little family.

This is both an explanation and a praise. I am happy to find clarity of the meaning to our struggles with family life in a community. We have to lay out the situation a bit, so you’ll understand what has been going on.

It’s not that Reba has never had children before – many people raised families within the fellowship. But that was a long time ago. And there were lessons learned then that need to be dusted off and shown to us who are now trying to raise small children in community. The current make-up of our community is largely two age categories: seniors who’ve spent a large part of their life here, and post-college young single adults.

I (Josh) am excited to find a little purpose in all of the struggles we have with balancing these lives. The purpose might just be that we, through our presenting pain, are exposing a need this community hasn’t been addressing too well over the last ten years: the need to come along side of families. If we are willing to stand here, not run to a more hospitable environment, then we can add to the sustainability of this way of life.

So here is the next part:

Without proper access to a real dictionary, I will use the services of Microsoft to define culture as: [3.shared beliefs and values of group ~the beliefs, customs, practices and social behavior of a particular nation or people 4. people with shared beliefs and practices ~ a group of people whose shared beliefs and practices identify the particular place, class, or time to which they belong]

As a married couple there is a very small, but extremely intense version of community – not all the properties are transitive, I should say. But then there is a nuclear family, and that is certainly a community of serious implications and repercussions. Functional or not, family life is intense community where you cannot consider your possessions to be your own, many decisions are made as a group, values are expressed, negative behaviors affect others – on and on like that. Perhaps your family wasn’t as good at reconciliation as you would have liked, or maybe you didn’t share meals that often. It was still a major community for your formation.

We want to put thought into the work of developing practices that identify and agree with our beliefs; practices that breathe meaning into our particular place and time. My household is my clan, my people. Further out is this fellowship we are keeping. These people we worship and share life with are a part of us. We belong to one another. So our customs and social behaviors are an indication of our tribe.

How will we help the greater tribe to evaluate its inclusion, development, considerations, challenges, and so forth of families in community? What sorts of new things will come as we seek deeper structure for families with young children? We have baths and bedtimes, so we cannot attend every evening meeting. Our parenting and marriage are influencing the ways we follow Jesus, and we want encouragement and challenge for the journey.

The people of God have been continuing to raise families from the beginning. It is a good work. It is hard. We love our kids, and we mess up. We are inviting the community to join in our discussion about the characteristics and disciplines that allow for a counter-culture to form in each family. There are currently several young families around that want to study the issue of family within Christian community. We’re going to have them all over for breakfast.

Another perspective

2009-07-30T14:35:00.000-05:00

Here is a video my bro-in-law posted after he and Jessica visited us a few months back.

Visitors

2009-07-20T16:19:00.000-05:00

We have had our share of company in the past three months. Many beautiful friends and family have made the trip out here to an unusually cool summer in the Midwest. We are tremendously thankful to all on this list. One elderly friend here in the fellowship said, “You all are popular.” And another, “I guess you didn’t burn a lot of bridges before you left.” Thanks for making us look good.

Here is a list, as accurate as we can remember it, in the guestbook.

Greg & Jen Haseloff, Ellie & Mollie

-Lilia’s birth-

Tom & Lou Ann Nisbett

Mallary & Chip Wiley

Savanah Nisbett & Scott

-Martha & Dave wedding in Indy-

Jane & Chris McCallister

-Reba Place Fellowship Retreat-

Jessica & Chris Knight

-Candace & Lilia to FL for covenant group-

-Move to Monroe Apartment-

Matt & Rachel Clarke

Billy & Kelly Lawson

Ben Warren

Savanah Nisbett & Scott (yep, twice)

Coleen Pierce

That might not seem like such a long list to you, but we are feeling like we have really worked out our hospitality muscles. We don’t have any solid visitation plans for the rest of the summer. (Not that we would mind). But that’s what’s been going on.

In other news, we are thinking about contributing to the community life by opening up a discussion about how to have life together as a family with small children.

New home

2009-06-26T07:21:00.000-05:00

We have moved to a new apartment. When we were talking about moving to Reba Place, we had hoped that some day an apartment building might open up for several Reba-connected families (maybe young families) to occupy the same building and have some sort of common living space without giving up our private space as we raise our kids. Well eight months after moving here that has happened! We are excited to share this six-flat with four other Reba families. There is a newly wed couple, a family with two pre-school aged boys, and two older ladies we have come to know in some capacity.

Although this move is a good thing, we have been dealing with transition since before we left Clovis. Moving here, finding work, making new friends, having a baby, life with new baby, out of town visitors to see the baby, and now moving into another apartment. We already see this as a great new place to be (first floor!) but we are hoping that we can settle in and just stay for a while, and get our selves together.

During the move my (Josh) bike went missing – we have lots of friends who helped us move and repaint etc. and I though maybe someone was “helping” by grabbing my bike for a while. Well I was missing it for a day or so when I passed it, locked to a fence. And it wasn’t my lock, or my fence. The person who stole it only took the bike one street away…and we had just moved from the street south of this location to the street north of this location. I was able to recover the bike without incident, and I praise God for that.

We had our great friends the Clarkes visit this past week. Matt and Rachel came the day we moved, just about ten minutes after the last box made it into our new space. They are the kind of friends we feel comfortable being a mess around. I am really glad to have their friendship. I don’t have too many friends I have been in contact with since high school, and I am seeing the value of staying in one place for a long time – namely keeping relationships going over decades.

Candace is seeing her work relationships take more significant strides, and we would appreciate your prayers with that.

On the move

2009-06-07T21:53:00.000-05:00

Candace and Lilia went to Florida over the weekend to be with her covenant group to catch up on each others' lives and to pray together. They made it home safely this evening.

On Saturday we will be moving AGAIN - only two streets over, to be in a building with some other young married couples interested in making a household type community. This building has six apartments in it, and we already know four families there. We will live on the first floor, too, which sounds great to us since we currently live on the third.

Here is a 3 minute video of our first move:

and pictures of the kids

2009-06-01T22:00:00.000-05:00

Reba Retreat

2009-06-01T21:49:00.001-05:00

We were on the Reba Fellowship retreat last weekend. In the past they’ve taken a trip to some other location to be away. This year they decided to stay in the neighborhood because there were folks who couldn’t come otherwise. Most everyone took it seriously, and shut down their activities (including work) and made the retreat their first priority. We were very glad to be with the fellowship members, have fun, eat, and be silly for two and a half days.

Last Sunday morning we were encouraged to have some solitude – as solitude is important for community to function well. We asked some non-fellowship friends to take Jedidiah to worship while we went to the lake to sit still, read and pray, and listen for the Lord. Rather than coming up with specific insights from time in quiet listening prayer, I want to say that solitude allows us to come to the community as givers rather than takers. In solitude we can get in touch with God, and kindle the inner flame that allows us to be of service to our neighbors. We need both community and solitude. One is not good without the other.

After the retreat we both feel more ready to take an active part in serving in this community. We are people who want to serve and step up in active contributions. Until lately we have been taking our time, listening and learning about the culture of Reba Place. Now, some nine months later, we feel attuned to the mores of this particular gathered people. We don’t know what our future roles will be – but we are feeling ready.

Jedi's still drumming

2009-05-20T11:30:00.001-05:00

Here's a new video of Jedidiah playing the air drums. Music is by Jamiroquai.

Enjoy!

Mother's day

2009-05-10T21:39:00.000-05:00

Today we celebrated Candace and her motherhood. We went to a vegetarian restaurant a few blocks from our house (Candace wants you all to know that she had a stuffed avocado with anasazi beans and quinoa garnished with pumpkin seeds and tomatillo sauce "amazing"). It seemed like most of the people eating there had taken a family bike ride to the restaurant to take their moms out to eat. We bumped into a midwife's assistant that was on our birth. (birth story here) All of this made me remark that we have moved far away from small town New Mexico. Candace is excited to live somewhere where the grass is green.

It's a beautiful time of year here. Tulips and blossoming trees.

We have had Josh's mom and dad in town last weekend. The week before we went to a wedding in Indiana. (Explaining the lack of posts)

We want to thank you all for your kind notes and encouragements about Lilia's name and about other McCallister related stuff. [We don't know how to respond to your comments, but we do read them and they do mean a lot to us!]

I have insisted that we start thinking more about community now that Lilia has been born. We will be writing about family, but also about life in community.

In keeping with choices for tight community we are going to be moving again, to another apartment building two blocks away (still in the Reba Place neighborhood). The move will put us in the same stairwell with another Reba family with kids and several of our young couple friends. We envision more sharing of time, meals, kid duties, and whatnot. Also, this new place will be on the first floor (not the 3rd where we are now), and we'll have a little more space.

Peace to you all.

For mother earth

2009-04-22T15:23:00.000-05:00

It's earth day, so I thought I would give one insight into our community life here. It is a green friendly place. People are starting to garden in the public park plots. We have a sister agrarian community called Plow Creek, that sells organic veggies and makes some amazing bread.
Most of the houses in Reba have a compost bin in the back yard. Many have a strip or planter-box for herbs or some such thing. We try to recycle, and Chicago is a good place to live where that is concerned. Most folks walk to work, or else they take public transportation.
When we are sharing meals together, we use real dishes - even at the church potlucks! The food is wholesome. Water is the drink of choice.
We wear reused clothing, drive reused cars, restore old buildings and old bikes. There is life after shopping!

People who get interested in eco-friendly behaviors find a spectrum of faithfulness and I must say that there is still plenty left to do. But it is fun to try.

It is believed that when Jesus' Kingdom comes, we will be working the land and we will see the fruits of our labor. There will be a new earth right here, fully restored and sustained. We're not going to live on clouds. We will live in a vineyard.

Perhaps I have shared this idea before, but I see in Reba Place a sustainable home, with spiritual diversity. Some religious groups are all about spreading the message (one variety of the message) all over - planting wheat on every field. This place has the feel of a homestead, where a family can enjoy all sorts of good things produced in a relatively small plot. You could live your whole life here, where you couldn't live off of a wheat field alone.

How We Named Our Lilia Mercy…

2009-04-15T19:37:00.000-05:00

I was thinking that you might all be interested in how we chose Lilia’s name. The story of her name goes back over a year ago to a Bible study that I was in at Kingswood United Methodist Church. As part of the study, we read the Sermon on the Mount in one sitting. As I read this passage of Scripture, my heart was quickened as when I got to the part beginning at Matthew 6:28. It says, “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was not dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the filed, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” This passage brought tears to my eyes as I thought about women and girls, in particular, and how God sees them as so beautiful. And, so many times, they devalue themselves and the perfect beauty that God has given them. In that moment, I thought that if I ever had a girl, I would like her name to come from this passage.

Several months later, I was sitting in small group at our home in Clovis. One of the members of the group spoke up at the very end of our time and said that he felt moved to read a Scripture to the group. He read this Scripture from Matthew 6. Again, I felt the Spirit move in my heart, and I knew in that moment that I was pregnant. We had not been expecting to have another baby yet, and I had no real reason to believe that we were; but I knew right then that I was going to have a baby!

I then began brainstorming names that might come from this passage. I looked up several names and meanings online. I looked up the name Lilia, and the first website that popped up gave a Hebrew meaning for this name: “What belongs to me, belongs to God.” Tears came to my eyes as I read this meaning. This seemed like the perfect word to speak over a child. Several months later, Josh and I realized how close to Easter our baby girl would be born. We both felt like Lilia was the perfect name for this precious Easter blessing!

Lilia’s middle name is Mercy. Mercy is an English name meaning compassion. Compassion from the Lord is a gift I deeply desire for my little girl. It is a virtue and a gift that means a great deal to me in my walk with God and in how I see the world around me. Compassion for the poor, the hurting, and the least of these is something I want for both of my children. Furthermore, I believe that God has shown us amazing mercy in the past months as we moved across the country to a new life, with the unexpected addition of a baby girl into our lives. We do praise God for this perfect gift of Lilia Mercy McCallister into our family. I feel certain that God has beautiful plans for her – her arrival into our lives & her special name were His idea. And that is only the beginning…

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.” James 1:17-18

Easter with Lilia

2009-04-13T08:54:00.000-05:00

We are grateful for the health of Candace - able to make it to the good Friday service, and then to Sunday morning's celebration! I (Josh) was carrying Lilia in a sling so that people could look but not touch.

I'll send more thoughts soon. I promised my mom some pictures:

Givin' you what you want!

2009-04-07T16:53:00.000-05:00

Presenting Lilia Mercy McCallister

Born April 6th, 2009 8lbs 6oz 11:30pm

She was born at home. Mom is doing great. Baby girl is doing great. The boys are doing great.

Here is the short story:

Candace was feeling non-painful contractions for weeks. We knew something was changing the morning of the 6th. Josh came home from work mid-day to be support. Our doula came, the midwives came. We were in and out of the water-birth tub.

Candace was a champ, strong and ready. She faced labor with no drugs. Jedidiah went to a family in the community where he stayed the night. Josh was present for the whole birth process.

This morning Jedi got to meet his baby sister. The picture says it all.

Dad and the big bother took a celebration trip to McDonalds for his first happy meal and an ice-cream cone.

Quilt

2009-04-05T22:44:00.000-05:00

I (Candace) have been a part of a quilting circle at Reba. This is the project that I decided to do - a baby quilt for our baby girl on the way. I did everything by hand, except that I machine-pieced it. It was a great project to help me think and pray about this little girl that God is giving us. I finally finished the quilt, and I wanted to share a few pictures!

Still waiting

2009-04-03T08:54:00.001-05:00

Jedidiah has not received his baby sister yet.

We have cleaned the house. We've been grocery shopping. We've done the laundry. We have the midwives on speed dial. Candace is getting rest.

But we are not in labor yet.

The due date is April 4th. Jedidiah came five days late. Who knows when our little lady will arrive? (Please, no wagering)

We will surely make big pronouncements when the baby comes. Stay with us!

Please pray that the baby comes before Thursday the 9th (when the Nisbetts come to meet her).

Thank you all for supporting us. I promise that we will start talking about the community again in the near future!

Love

4 McCallisters

Zoo, Haseloff, Shower, Hockey

2009-03-22T21:26:00.001-05:00

We’ve had a lot of activity in the last couple of days.

Our friends the Haseloffs came to town to see Chicago. They stayed here in the Reba guest house. We were able to spend some time together, although they had business of their own. Jedidiah got to go to the Lincoln Park zoo with his friends and his mom.

This afternoon Candace had a baby shower for our new baby girl coming. There were about 20 ladies at the party, all new friends. It was just perfect for Candace – quiet conversations about the home-birthing process and the transitions of having a new baby. The girls were really supportive and prayed for both Candace and our girl.

Meanwhile Jedi and Dad were out with the boys eating pizza and playing hockey.

The time is fast approaching when we get to meet our next installment. Candace is due in a couple of weeks, but anytime now could happen. I have given thanks again and again for the health of this pregnancy. We have not had one incident where we thought the baby ought to be checked out by a doctor (other than her standard appointments).

It continues to be the season of Lent, and worship at Reba Place Church continues to be a treat for us to attend. We feel pretty adjusted to the new neighborhood and all – we have friends, know when and where to buy groceries, don’t get parking tickets. So here comes major adjustment number two!!!

Enjoy some recent pictures:

Sabbath is a difficult commandment to keep.

2009-03-08T20:25:00.000-05:00

First, here are a few belly pictures - taken at the end of each month (1-8).

We had decided that this month was going to be a month of rest. You know, limit our commitments and hole up in the apartment to get ready for a new family member. Spend a little extra time on the ole marriage. But eight days into the month, we have not done too well so far.

For one, Candace and new baby have four midwives operating out of separate locations , plus a doula and a midwife-in-training (that is 6 people) who all want appointments regularly at this point in the pregnancy. (The big day is about a month from now!)

Another thing that happened is that Josh and three other artists did all new paintings for an opening last night to a show with the theme of Lent.

So we will try this thing again next week. Sabbath is a difficult commandment to keep.

Oh, Jedidiah's air drums

2009-02-26T21:28:00.000-06:00

Ramble ramble

2009-02-26T21:21:00.001-06:00

My (Josh’s) good friend Ryan came by to see what is happening in our lives. He spent an extended weekend helping me with some work and touring the neighborhood. I don’t have very many friends who’ve stayed with me over the years, and Ryan has for about ten years. I am thankful for his fortitude. It is important to me for people who know us get a good feeling for this place – this place we have chosen for our spiritual formation.

Place and time… Place is somewhat permanent while time implies change. Changing or transforming while the world looks on. Friends and family are noticing things happening in us over time. They are watching the tide crash against us again and again, seeing how our shorelines shift and which ones stay in place. This community is grounded by location, by faith, and history. There are a lot of faces changing and the ministries are always changing. The old timers are getting older and babies are being born. The collective has a reputation that is beyond any one or two people. This collective is still progressive. “Living things grow, and growing things change,” says my friend Jim.

We do not know all the effects that time will have on us. We are submitting to its mystery believing that God will be faithful to complete work in each of us. That baby is growing in Candace at the hand of one wiser than us. We are thankful.

It’s Lent now. Repentance, an increase in spiritual disciplines, less chaff, more wheat.

Community Lately

2009-02-15T22:58:00.000-06:00

It has been about five months since we relocated here to the fellowship, and many things have happened. Some of the changes are drastic and very noticeable (things pertaining to circumstances), and some things are probably happening deep within us that we’ll recognize later. Here are a few more “postcards from the highway” – snippets of the last little while in community.

Lunch today: We were invited to eat with a few other families at a congregational member’s home. These are folks who work for a living (she’s a caterer!) They offered a great gift in hospitality; they allowed us to meet other people in a comfortable environment and they were interested in getting to know us.

Jeff and Inna: Two weeks ago there was a new couple that moved into the area. They weren’t planning on joining the fellowship or the church, just moving here. We were able to assist in a few ways, and they noticed that there was something unique about the willingness of our people to help out. We are continuing to relate to them durring a difficult transition.

JPUSA: Josh lived at Jesus People USA (intentional Christian community in Chicago) during the summer of 2001 and made a few friends there. Since moving here (Evanston – suburb directly north of Chicago) we have been getting together with the Benders (JPUSA family/ friends) on a regular basis. We are thankful to God for friends that we can feel natural around easily. Additionally, the opportunity has come to open a conversation between Jesus People and Reba Place. These are the two largest intentional Christian communities in Illinois, and not far from each other. It would seem that daily life has kept both communities too busy to really link up. Josh was appointed the task of setting these conversations into motion, and we have had one nice gathering thus far.

Quilting Circle: Candace attends a weekly quilting class with several other ladies relating to the fellowship. Jedidiah loves to play at the host home (they have created a “mouse house” in some space under the stairs just for small children). Candace is making great progress on her first quilt for baby girl and building some relationships with ladies from all walks of life.

Church: Have we mentioned how great the Sunday morning services are? This month was a month focused on racial justice through the Church. It is no small thing to hear whites admit that they have benefited from centuries of inequalities. It is powerful to hear the stories of members who lived as minorities oppressed in socially acceptable ways; to hear white members confess their inaction while witnessing bigotry. Yet another testimony to the health of this body – they don’t ignore tumors.

Jedidiah Pictures

2009-02-06T14:45:00.001-06:00

A few recent pictures of our little guy...

A Tribute to Our Jedidiah Wake…

2009-02-05T18:03:00.000-06:00

Jedidiah will be officially two and a half next week. He is an amazing joy in our lives, and we want to dedicate this entry to him. In fact, the title of our website “WakeUpdate” comes from his middle name. We liked the name Wake because it means alert and awake to life. This describes our Jedidiah very well – he is already living up to his name! He notices everything around him and remembers so much. It is really incredible to us. He still has clear memories of events that happened 6 to 8 months ago. He remembers the first and last names of many people we know. He can tell you what street he lives on and who gave him just about every gift he has received in the last year. We do not try to teach him these things, he simply remembers and brings them up to us. It surprises me every time! He just seems very aware for his age. The other day some one at church asked him when his baby sister was coming, and he said, “in April.” Another time recently, I was surprised by his self-awareness. He started talking about his bicycle, on which he still cannot seem to figure out pedaling. He said, “Mom, do you know the medals on my bicycle?” “The pedals?” I asked. “Yes, the pedals. I don’t know how to use the pedals yet, but I am gonna grow bigger and then I will learn.” I really didn’t think he had any concept of growing up, but he’s brought that up again several times lately. (To be fair, he did tell me a few sentences later that he is also growing smaller – so, maybe he doesn’t quite get it, yet.) He also recognizes streets, buildings, and houses without any reminder about where we are. As we drive down the street, he can identify the places that we pass and what we did the last time we went to them. Maybe I (Candace) am just amazed because I have always been an absent-minded and oblivious person. I still have trouble finding places until I’ve driven to them myself, and I lose items regularly. Jedidiah is also a big help in finding the things I am looking for – purse, keys, etc. It’s not that he’s taken them and hidden them, he just remembers where I put them! He knows lots of nursery rhymes and can finish them up if you get them started for him. He can identify most instruments when he sees some one playing them (from banjo to violin to trumpet). He is also very aware of speakers and usually locates all of the speakers in a room fairly quickly. Lately, he is very aware of the coming arrival of his baby sister. He talks to her frequently and tells me about things he will do with her (ex. Kiss her if she is crying). Needless to say, we think our little guy is just great! He definitely has his difficult moments, but we want to make a point to celebrate how special he is. His first name means “beloved of the Lord” and we think that the meaning of both his first and middle names are evident in who he is: after just a little time with him, I think that you would see that he is a boy who is deeply loved and very aware of the world around him! We love you so much, Jedidiah Wake!!

Here are a few recent Jedidiah interactions that made me smile:

Jedidiah was just doing his favorite thing – playing the air drums to music. He looked at me and said, “Baby sister can hear me?” I said, “Yes, she can hear you!” I walked over and he touched my baby belly and said (to baby sister), “I love you.” And then he filled in her part, “I love you, too.” Then he looked at me and asked, “Is she playing the tuba?” (He always assigns different instruments to all of us to play, so he was including baby sister!) So sweet and so imaginative!

Jedidiah: “I’m hiccing up.” (he had the hiccups)

Candace: “We need to get you a new night light.” (his monkey one was a little broken)

Jedidiah: “Maybe a moose night light….Or a coatimundi or somethin’” (A coatimundi is an animal that we learned about several months ago in the Animal Baby magazines that Jedidiah gets from Grandma)

Jedidiah: “Mom, you remember the Israelites?” (he heard of them on a Veggie Tales episode)

Candace: “Yes – I know about the Israelites”

Jedidiah: “I want to see the Israelites.”

After a long description of what “bossy” means…

Jedidiah: “ No, it’s not. It’s turtles.” (long pause) “Do you want to talk about something, mom? Talk about something different. What about bears?”

-followed by me telling the 3 bears story

-then, I did a brief recap of what it means to be bossy

Jedidiah: “Bossy is a lady?”

I wasn’t getting through…

Jedidiah: “Mommy drives a little fast.”

Josh: “What about daddy?”

Jedidiah: “Daddy drives very fast and it makes me a little scared!”

Jedidiah (in imagination land): “My head turned BLUE.”

Candace: “Oh yeah…blue?”

Jedidiah: “It was crazy! It was miserable.” (he said miserable very carefully – we never taught him this word – he just came up with it!)

Inspired at the museum

2009-01-25T21:14:00.000-06:00

We celebrated Candace’s 30^th birthday today by eating in Greek Town and then visiting the Jane Addams history museum called the Hull House. The food was really great and the experience was very worthwhile at the restaurant. We want to tell you about the museum though.

Jane Addams was a real worker at the turn of the century, living here in Chicago, and working for the good of the marginalized majority. She founded a household for like minded folks who wanted to contribute to society by addressing the social issues of the day: women’s suffrage, child labor, immigration, poverty, war, race relations, hunger, and others. She founded a number of institutions that are still functioning today. She is thought of as a pioneer in the field of social work. Additionally, she was sometimes considered an enemy of the state, and a dangerous woman.

When you talk seriously about peace and equality powerful people might want to kill you.

On our drive home we talked about how significant a life Jane Addams lived. Our eyes lifted from the clutter of being young adults and parents, pregnant and struggling. We remembered that we have moved into Reba for our spiritual formation, to become people who will work for change. Seeing the example of Ms. Addams reminded us of the realities we want to address. Though we are educated and come from privileged homes, we want to serve the poor and needy. This, we believe, is an expression of our good raising and the right thing to do.

We want to make these same sort of incremental courageous steps toward healing the people and our land. We celebrate and give thanks for the examples that have brought us to this point in life, and we want very much to keep our eyes focused on the long term convictions while working at the small and daily stuff of a worthy life.

Baby progress

2009-01-18T22:16:00.000-06:00

We had several appointments this week regarding this upcoming little girl. Candace is doing great. We have been blessed with health since we moved here. Also, we have had many great connections while visiting our midwives.

Candace is 29 weeks along...

Candace Reflections

2009-01-15T21:44:00.001-06:00

I have realized that, in examining my life, I have not been able to make it much past the bare essentials that would describe us as getting by. If the housework is done, Jedidiah got his nap and got to bed on time, the family is fed, and we all got some sleep at night, then I count it as a good day. I am living at a fairly low level of Maslow’s hierarchy. Just in the past month, I have felt up to reaching out in relationships – and only sometimes (when all those essentials are in place for a few days). It is on rare and brief occasions that I get the chance to think about bigger things – purpose, goals, meaning, mission. In a rare quiet time that was actually quiet, I feel that God revealed this to me - that I was living with my eyes down and my hopes low. I realize that some of this has been necessary in a difficult time of transition. Sometimes, I just have to do what is required and no more. But, in that moment of clarity, I saw that God has much more for me and for our family. Little by little, I am lifting my eyes and trusting God as I hope for more and evaluate my life based on a higher standard. My desire to love others, give of myself, and use my gifts is gradually returning.

In another moment of clarity, I was sitting at church during the worship time. Josh was playing the drums with the praise band, and I was sitting in the congregation with Jedidiah in my lap. Jedidiah was calm and a little sleepy as he relaxed to the worship music. I could feel our baby girl moving around inside me as she listened to the music. I felt very happy in that moment to be there with these two blessed and precious people that God has created and then entrusted to Josh and I to raise. As I sat, I realized that there is no other station in life in which I would rather be than this one – the mother of young children. I have moments when I feel a little jealous of the freedom of single people or of couples without children; but in that moment, with my two little ones so close, I felt certain that this is where God has me and this is where I want to be. That simple realization has given me the resolve to choose joy through the parenting challenges of this week. And I can see, in times of clarity, that this role in my life is indeed one of learning to love as God loves and of giving of myself in a godly and beautiful way. I feel grateful and happy that God has given me this special and fleeting time in my life to be a mom.

Celebrate as we wait

2009-01-04T21:37:00.000-06:00

We were reminded in church today that the people of God are instructed to celebrate, even when they have not received the promised ending yet. For example, the Passover is a time to remember what has already come and remember that we are hoping for even more.

When we went to Thailand, we were there for four months; we felt really productive, and it changed us deeply. We have lived here for almost four months, and it's been a way slower process. We know there are a lot of things to learn and accomplish - things we've intended to do, and things that will surprise us. We have not seen the fruit of these things yet, but we are celebrating because we know they are coming.

We had a great break from the city in Arkansas. Since coming back, Candace has felt peace.

We are embracing our new life here. (coming home to a thawed Chicago, with clear sidewalks helped!)

In the 2009...

We will pursue some mentors soon.

We are interested in finding opportunities to serve the poor.

We plan to be intentional about some relationships here.

We have been going to bed early, waking up early, and spending the evenings with each other.

I do not want to relax with technology anymore.

We are preparing for the new baby with six weeks of child-birthing class.

Jedidiah plans to become potty trained. (A few successes already this week!)

Jedidiah wants to get bigger.

Jedidiah will become a big brother.

Your notes of encouragement are appreciated!

Shalom

Like a Christmas letter

2009-01-01T20:25:00.000-06:00

I wish we could go through the following events and the stuff in between the lines to fill you all in on the ways that we have seen our prayers answered, our faith tested, our obedience encouraged, and both Candace’s belly and Jedidiah growing. Here is a quick overview of the year:

Last December we made the trip to Kentucky to see Mallary and Chip get married.

January, Josh started working with the Kingswood people to get neighborhood ministries going.

February, Candace attended a healing ministry training mission.

March, we were praying about what new community we might join, and had a powerful Easter. The church had several neighborhood services for the first time.

April, we visited Reba Place Fellowship, and liked it.

May, Candace went to Cincinnati to meet with her covenant group from college.

June, Josh led the Kingswood mission trip to Waco, observing and helping Antioch Community Church with their neighborhood ministries.

July, Jedidiah took his last free flight (to AR). We saw Shane Claiborne give his presentation on Jesus for President. We told the church that we were leaving Clovis.

August, one last XIT Joe Nisbett fun run in Dalhart, TX. Candace climbed the highest peak in NM, Wheeler Peak (13,161 feet) with Jedi on her back and a baby in her belly! Jedidiah had his second birthday. We enjoyed the wilderness of New Mexico one last time with another camping trip to Taos and Santa Fe – it hailed and rained on us. We had fun.

September, the big month. Great friends threw us a going away party. We rented a truck and with the help of our small group, loaded all of our things from the 4-bedroom house, and drove across the country to Chicago and moved into a 2-bedroom apartment on the third floor. Josh’s dad came out to help us settle in. Josh started working at a picture framing shop.

October, mostly spent working, unpacking and struggling to make it. Chip and Mallary made a visit from Michigan.

November, Candace and Jedi went to Michigan for a sister reunion, taking the train. Josh started working for Plain and Simple Amish Furniture. A few Reba Place artists got together and opened a gallery space as a business experiment. Friend from Clovis, Jim Kelly completed a pastoral leadership course and we went to celebrate with him in Indiana. We went to Tampa FL to see the McCallisters for Thanksgiving.

December, our friend Amberly made a quick weekend visit to Evanston to lift our spirits. More work, this time for Candace as well – helping people with disabilities. We made it home to Arkansas, driving through some serious weather, to celebrate Christmas with the Nisbetts.

We'll be reporting on our 2009 resolutions and anticipations soon.

Peace, and don't forget that Christmas isn't over yet.

Know your current events

2008-12-21T17:56:00.001-06:00

A quick look at recent events in our lives:

§ Jedidiah had his first haircut about two weeks ago. A combination of a really dry winter and wearing hats everyday had left his hair unmanageable. We loved all his baby curls and were heartbroken to part with them. But, his sweet disposition throughout the cutting and his joy afterward made it a fun event. In the end, his hair is still curly and a bit crazy, but I think that the cut helped to calm things down a little.

§ We had our long-awaited sonogram last week. Josh and I went together while Jedidiah stayed home with a friend (no kids allowed at the particular doctor’s office we used). We decided to have the doctor write down the gender of the baby on a slip of paper and put it in an envelope. That way, we could open the envelope and find out about the baby at home, as a family. We had a positive experience with the doctor and sonographer. The baby is healthy and doing well – and cooperated well with the sonogram machine! Later that day, we opened our envelope to discover that we are having a baby girl!! We are all excited about this news and look forward to meeting this little one in just over three months!

§ The winter has taken over our lives here in Evanston. Snow falls frequently and, we are told, will not fully melt until April. This is yet another adjustment that might have been a little easier without a toddler and a pregnant mommy. We are learning the joys of moving our car when city-wide sirens indicate that the plows and tow trucks are coming. Jedidiah is enjoying stomping around in the snow and sliding on the ice here and there. It is truly beautiful when the snow comes down and when a fresh snow blankets our neighborhood. Getting out and about is the complicated part. We are figuring it out like everything else.

§ Our friend Amberly Strebeck hitched a ride with a friend in Wilmore and came to visit us this week! Having Amberly here was an encouragement to Candace, and really to all three of us. Life in a new place, especially in the winter, can become very lonely. Candace was deeply grateful for the chance to process this new life with such a good friend.

§ In the past two weeks, Candace has started her job at Center for Independent Futures. The job is just the right pace for her right now – very part-time and not too intense. She has two adult clients with disabilities that she works with weekly. She is looking forward learning and growing in this position after the holidays.

§ Josh has been painting away! He was commissioned to paint a portrait of a family of six. He had just about a week to complete quite a project. The completion of this portrait has boosted the income of the Evanston Atelier (the art gallery Josh & 3 others opened in November) to the point that the gallery will probably get to remain open after the new year…more about that later.

§ For all of his hard work at the Atelier and at the Amish furniture store, Josh has earned a paid vacation! What a blessing for our little family who desperately needs some time together and some time away! We will be traveling to Pine Bluff, Arkansas on Tuesday and returning home to Chicago the following Sunday. We are excited to spend this time with just about all of Candace’s family. Candace’s grandparents also recently moved to Pine Bluff, and we are looking forward to spending time with them during their time of transition.

§ As we approach Christmas, our church has helped us to prepare our hearts for this special season. We will be sad to miss the culmination of these special advent services at Reba Place Church. We are thankful for the artistic and emotional depiction of advent at our Sunday services and anticipate celebrating the birth of our Lord with our family next week. Merry Christmas!

Integrity

2008-12-17T09:52:00.000-06:00

As you know, I am impressed with the strength and health of the Reba church. One of the messages recently has been about how God hates a life that is very different on the inside than on the outside. God detests worship from people who ignore the poor, or who maintain grievances with their brothers.

So then there is a lot of ugliness inside – inside of the individual (i.e. me) and inside of the body or community. If all we do is cover over that, fake it, ignore it, then we are not living according to what God wants. Sometimes it takes another trusted adviser to call me out on a vice I am entertaining. Sometimes another person’s confession can lead me to my own.

Ahh how we avoid the difficult conversations that separate authentic from phony! It is so much easier to keep on faking it. Until the double-life, the duplicity causes us to grow numb or freak out. We aren’t meant to live a double life. It is so much more painful to deal with the truth.

I love that this place is more about practicing the Gospel than proclaiming it with the mouth, or developing good creeds and right answers through the head. We have people who will confess their sin, and a congregation that believes in sin, but also in forgiveness and restoration.

Getting out of the duplicity is painful and vulnerable and all, but we should not fear the pain. The way out of it is through it.

These are the messages I am learning through life in community. I would not learn this in our former situation, so I am thankful that we moved.

I hope the readers will find this encouraging, and maybe deal with some secrets of their own.

JWM

Second Sunday of Advent

2008-12-07T21:21:00.000-06:00

Another week has gone by. Work at the furniture shop is going well. Candace has had several trainings for her new job, and has met the first person she will work with directly. The gallery has opened another show with six Josh paintings, and the local papers did a story about it. We had a chance to decorate our apartment for Christmas with a little tree and some lights.

It has been pretty cold! It was 7 degrees when I walked to work the other day. This morning there was a wind-chill factor of -4. That takes some adjusting to. The weather forecast actually calls this weather “frigid!” The snow falls and stays where it lands for weeks. Nursery schools won’t send the kids out to the park if the temp is below 20.

Our church has some beautiful traditions that have developed here. They have a candle-lighting dance performed by four women while we all sing a cappella before they light the advent candles each week. There is an illuminated piece of art that gets progressively revealed week-by-week. The Gospel is read. On communion Sundays there is a congregational dance. During Advent we have dramas instead of sermons, but they are well done, and I like them. Experiencing Christmas in this new environment is helping me to let the season be fresh and expectant.

Jedidiah offers some pretty sweet prayers at night. We always try to pray together as we put him to sleep. He prays “thank you” for the friends he sees, and the food he eats and the games he plays and other stuff. We love to listen and hear what events of the day seem to matter the most to him. He seems to have fully adjusted to living here. He sees people he knows and gets excited; he anticipates our weekly events and is thrilled each time we do them. He loves church, especially the music. He is all about drumming these days. He takes his drumsticks (one knitting needle & one plastic xylophone mallet) with him everywhere he goes. He uses them to play air drums through the entire worship time at church.

Convenience

2008-11-30T22:54:00.000-06:00

There are benefits to living in the city. Things are close. We have every store you could want. There are two large airports within 30 miles. Diversity of peoples is fantastic. International people live in the neighborhood, even in our building, and others attend our church.

Candace, Jedidiah and I went to the mall tonight to redeem some gift-cards. I don’t usually think this, but tonight I thought, “I do not like the mall.” I used to really love the mall. But I don’t like the mall right now. And not just because it’s busy and people are crazy. No, I think it has to do with taking another look at capitalism, and obligatory gift giving, and fair trade, and teenagers with a sense of entitlement, and on and on.

We are addicted to comfort. Convenience is why some people move to the city. The rural people we used to live among would dream big about one day having an Olive Garden. They would love the variety of restaurants I can walk to on a lunch break. I love that too. And also, I don’t love that. Simplicity in this time and place is counter-cultural.

In other (perhaps more interesting) news: We were very privileged to travel to Tampa to see Josh’s folks and grand folks and brother and sister and other McCallister-like folk. We had a traditional thanksgiving, starting with the parade, and separating kids and adults for the meal (4 out of 5 “kids” are married, the other is manager of a bank in San Diego) – we were forced to use plastic-ware and paper plates while the over 50 crowd used the china…

Following the meal we had the traditional Thanksgiving gift-exchange (not going to see these people at Christmas). Merrpy Thanksmas!

Contemplative Drumming

2008-11-16T21:45:00.000-06:00

Moving to Chicago has been good for me (Josh) on several levels. Lately I have been included in a small cluster of visual artists that live here in Rebaville. We are together opening a gallery space on Main Street here in Evanston. For the opening show, we are making 100 paintings and attempting to sell them for $100 each. Consequently, I am painting a lot right now. (www.evanstonatelier.com) And I haven’t done much painting in the last few years.

Another thing is the drums. I used to play the drum kit, and then I didn’t. But this morning I played in the worship band in our meeting. It felt pretty good to be in on that kind of fun again (though I was a little rusty). As I was learning the songs in the hour before worship started, playing together with people that I don’t really know and have never played with before, I was tempted to worry. And I worried. And I felt stress about not keeping up with them or playing badly or dropping a stick (these are the things that stress a drummer, because they are pretty noticeable). But I kept trying to pray at the same time, and remind myself that the music I help to make is for God not those people who gather together. (Recently I heard a man say that our music, our attempts to “give” to God are but refrigerator art to God).

So there I am trying to keep cool, and not get the nervous shakes (because that too is noticeable from behind the drums) and I remembered something from Thomas Merton that says something to the effect of, “just sitting still and paying full attention to God is really difficult” (again, not a direct quote). So if sitting still in the quiet and being attentive to God is tough for a Trappist Monk, then what am I even thinking trying to be attentive to God whilst beating cymbals and such?

I can’t say that I had great success in contemplative drumming, but I do feel like it was a good exercise.