Living the Dream of Community

Tonight was a night that felt like the realization of my dream of community that I’ve had for years. When Josh and I were considering moving into community a few years ago, people would often ask us what our reasons were. Josh, of course, had philosophical and even biblical explanations that I agreed with on intellectual and spiritual levels. I, however, would usually respond with a more practical answer. I would say that I thought that life could be both more full and easier to handle for a stay-at-home mom if she lived in community with others. I dreamed of sharing the load with other families – sharing meals, helping one another with childcare, and spending time with moms and kids during the day. I knew deep down that life at home with young kids could be more fulfilling and less isolating if we could find a way to share it with other people.

Often, I have felt disappointed here at Reba Place. Many times, I still feel alone as a parent at home by myself with two very needy children. I have hoped and prayed for God to give us creative ways to fellowship with others who may feel isolated and to share the domestic responsibilities in a way that would lighten the load for all of us. A year and a half into our stay in this community, these ventures into new ways of sharing life are finally happening. I feel excited – really excited – about what is happening and what is possible. Allow me to share a few of these ideas that we are putting into practice…

As many of you know, we moved in June to a 6-unit apartment building with more families interested in sharing life together. In January, a family with a 1-year old boy and another baby on the way moved in next-door to us. Also, a family with two boys (ages 2 and 5) live upstairs. This has afforded us some inventive childcare possibilities. In addition to our children playing at each other’s homes, we have been using baby monitors after the children go to sleep to allow couples to go on dates without having to hire babysitters! I am able to go to a Thursday morning meeting while Lilia sleeps happily in her bed, because my neighbor Stephanie is willing to watch her baby monitor for me. What a great deal!

Another idea that came out of community is allowing me to cook a Sabbath dinner and food for Sunday lunch while my children play comfortably in our own home. A grandmother who is part of our community asked me how her 11-year old granddaughter (who loves small children) could help our family. Jadyn and her grandmother have been coming to play with Jedidiah and Lilia from 4-6 pm on Saturday evenings for the past 3 weeks. Tonight, this arrangement got even better when our neighbor and her 1-year old son came over to socialize and play, too. I cannot express in words how happy I felt to hear all of them having such a wonderful time talking and laughing in the kids’ room while I was making dinner, washing dishes, and doing laundry. My children were in the comfort of their own home, having a delightful time with friends, and not even feeling like they were away from their mommy. Periodically, I would get the chance to interact with both of them in different ways, without feeling constantly interrupted. We were even able to invite the neighbors over for dinner afterward. After dinner, my neighbor and I discussed even more ideas of ways that we could easily help one another with daily tasks. What a lovely evening!

I am also learning the simple and courageous act of asking others for help and then receiving that help. When our new small group caused a time-conflict, I expressed disappointment at not being able to get food at a weekly food drop-off organized by Reba Place. A man at our Monday-night potluck offered to pick up the food for me and drop it off at our apartment after small group. Today at our natural food co-op, I was feeling overwhelmed in a busy setting with both children, and I asked for help. A friend was willing to stop her shopping and hold Lilia while I finished up my shopping.

Here are just a few other ways that life in community is making my life better in really practical ways: 

-We are doing a meal-share with a family in a different building. I cook dinner for both families on a busy day for their family, and they cook dinner for both families on a busy night for our family. Sometimes we eat together, but we often simply exchange food. This is a great blessing when I come home from work hungry and exhausted.

-We share items with one another regularly – vacuum cleaners (ours happens to be broken at the moment), ingredients, baby carriers, children’s clothing, etc.

-Our neighbors, Rob and Julie, who live in the building next to ours, constructed a pulley-system to send items back and forth between our buildings.

-We will be splitting a share of fruits, vegetables, and eggs from Plow Creek Farm, starting in June and going through October.

These are just a few of the simple, beautiful, amazing joys I am experiencing in community right now. I know that they are not especially spiritual, in the conventional sense. But, for me, they have been the provision of God to my life in a very practical and often lonely phase of life. I am deeply grateful.     ~Candace